Aki Live! (Yuri on Ice Fanfiction)

Trapped in the Free Skate

I stuck to Yuri's side most of the morning. It annoyed my friends and Yura, mainly Yura, but I did it. "Okay, Victor texted me to tell you not to do anything jumps during warm up," I told him looking at my phone. There was like a long paragraph of instructions, as if I was taking care of his nee born child, not my brother. I just picked out what I thought was nessecary.

He didn't listen, and did jumps, and failed at them. Yakov didn't say anything, as he was too busy coaching Yura. "Come on," I was trying to maale Yuri shrug them off. "Just cause you didn't land them in practice doesn't mean you won't in performance. Just focus and the rotations, if you get enough it won't really matter if you fall." It didn't really look like what I was saying had any effect on him. He looked so nervous.

"Hey, Yuri," I was spesking in Japanese so he knew I was talking to him, and him only, "I'm here for you, and I know you're going to do great." I grabbed both hisbhands in my own nd made him look at me. "Just tell me what you're so scared about, cause you have nothing to be scared of." I was waiting for him to spill everything that was fuzzy around his head. He would always do that with, when offered, or even if it wasn't.

"Its nothing," he told me and pulled our hands away. I was shocked. I was surprised. I was scared. I used to be the only person he felt comfortable enough to share his thoughts with, now I wasn't. I knee he wasn't keeping them all in, he'd be in a much worse state. Its probably Victor, they are so close. I should be happy, as he found someone to lean on that wasn't me. Yet I was sad, cause it was no longer me. I had that role, and always thought I keep that role.

I pried myself out of my thoughts. "You'll do great," I told Yuri just before he got onto the ice. "He's so nervous," I mummbled to myself. His face showed it. It showed. He didn't do the best that he could have, earning himself a sliding from Yakov in the kiss and cry. Instead of doing nythinf I would expect from him, he just hugged him.

- • -

My mind was racing when it came time for my free skate. Yuri hadn't won a metal, but still made it to the finals. Everywhere I went I was confronted with questions about my gender and sexual identity. Appeariently I was the tall of the female devision. I was in second, which I could understand. Sara's short program had a higher difficulty then what mine was at the time. I didn't need to win to get into the finals, just fourth or higher.

"Want to tell me what's buzzing around in you're head?" Naomi asked me, wiping away the tear gathering at the corner of my eye. I shook my head. Mila was getting off the ice, which meant I was up. I started getting ready to preform.

All I felt on the ice was pity. Pity for the disgrace that was myself. I couldn't be there for my brother. I wasn't as accepted by society. I had nothing anymore. The music started, adb I lagged behind a bit. My moves were more dragged out. I couldn't properly portray the self confidence I usually did.

It felt more like I was apologizing. I was apologizing for not being heterosexual. I was apologizing for not identifying as a girl. I was apologizing for Yuri for me not being able to be there for him. I was apologizing for everything. I was apologizing for being myself. I was apologizing for doing what I felt was right.

When I hit my finishing powder the crossed started cheering. I noticed the hard sobs rippling through me, and how wet my face was. I had started crying in the midst of my apology. I rushed off the ice, and tore off my skates before anyone could say anything to me. I ran through the halls, looking for somewhere private to cry, as I searched I srarted to enter a panic attack.

I was suddenly wrapped in a hug. I was focused into the chest of the person. Yuri. "Its fine," he committed me, running his hand through my hair as I sobbed. "You did amazing." It wasn't my skating that I was worried about. It was me that I was worried about. It didn't help that he was still able to prove her could be there for me, while I couldn't for him.

"I'm fine Yuri," I said, trying to push my brother away. He judt pulled me right back into a hug.

"No, you're not," he hissed and held me in a hug until I was truly done crying, then escorted me back to the rink side by Naomi. We were just waitibg for Sara's score. She had been beaten by Mila, so she was now in second and I was in third. All three of us got into the finals.

For once it felt like all the questions weren't directed towards me. They were still about me though. They were asking all the other conpetitors what they thought about it. I was going around and congradulating the other cometitors with flowers, confusing them. I was still a nice person.

"Aki," Mila cane up to me. I had already congradulated her, as she had me. Sara was also with her. "Come on, we want you to hear this." They both grabbed one of my wrists and pulled me to where there was a large mass of reporters.

"Hey, listen!" Mila yelled over the crowd. "I've been asked again and again today, what I think about skating with this precious little person here," she pointed at me, completely regretring existance right there. "Well I'm greatful. They say the older ones aare ment to make it better for the youngers, well she's done the reverse. I'm bisexual. I would have never had the courage to say that, if they had not come out to the world first." I was standing there in complete and under shock.

"Same gose for me," Sara stepped up. I noticed her brother stiffen in fear. "I ak homosexual. I like girls." Then the two giels infront of me just kissed. What did I just cause.

"I actually don't care," I over heard another female conpetitor say, "She's one of the nicest skaters in our devision. She wishes everyone luck, and she went aroind congradulating everyone, and given them all a flower from her own bouquet. Its nice to see that kindness." What did I just cause...?