The Most Beautiful Thing

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

I was so busy keeping myself busy, and pretending to be happy everyday that I almost lost track of time. I spent a lot of time painting, writing poems, writing stories and just enjoying myself in general. I practiced my craft even more, and I didn't stop until my works became published.

I also party a lot too, to help me find that fake happiness I'm looking for. Anything can do.. I'm desperate. Kahit ano, tatanggapin ko just to conceal my problems and my sadness for a little while.

I thought the best way to heal is to not mind it. Let time heal the wounds that are left.. I thought it's out of sight, out of mind... but I was wrong. I may smile when I'm around people, or when I'm with my best friends... but I still got those random moments in the day where I just want to curl up in my bed and cry.

I can't do this anymore.... I sometimes think to myself while looking at my friends and realizing how much effort I put in just to survive my days. It's draining, emotionally and physically.

It gets worse during nighttime. It's like your dark thoughts are inevitable and you are most destructible. I always cry myself to sleep, thinking about my shitty life decisions, or my shitty life in general. I'm glad that the world doesn't hear my muffled cries under the pillow.

Time went by so fast, that I suddenly woke up and it's already my graduation day.

"Congratulations!" My brother opened the door and he gave me a bouquet of flowers while I was doing my make-up. Ngumiti lang ako sakanya.

"Thank you..." I replied. Wala siyang alam sa kung anong nagkaron samin ni Max back then.

Nung nalaman ko that he left for china, wala na akong nagawa. I think Red saw him before he left, sila sila magkakaibigan. Nagulat sila dahil wala na nga talaga ito maalala. When Red got home, he told me everything at kaya sila babalik sa china para mas makakuha ng better doctors for him. Nagtaka sila bakit hindi ako bumisita, pero sinabi ko nalang something important came up.

It's been 5 months since that day in the hospital.

"Congratulations!!" Mom and Dad surprised me outside the school. I cried and I ran to hug them. For the first time after 5 months I finally cried happy tears. They came back from the states just to walk with me during the graduation ceremony. My heart is indeed, truly happy.

I smiled to myself as I threw my graduation cap in the air. My first milestone without him... I hope the old him, the one who remembers me clearly, is proud of me and all I have yet to accomplish.

I looked at the crowd, hoping andun siya. Hoping somewhere in that sea of people, he's looking at me and waiting for me to walk towards him so he can hug me.

I shed a tear ng marealize na wala na siya. I'm sure he's somewhere better. I miss him everyday. I miss his presence, his scent, everything. Ang hirap because hindi ako sanay ng wala siya.

Nights turned in to days, days turned into weeks and weeks turned in to months.

Wala pa rin siya.

I love him... but I love me more. I need to stop waiting for him and move on. That's why I've decided to move with my parents abroad.

"Ria, come back okay?" Cassie hugged me at ayaw na niya bumitaw sakin. I hugged her back, trying to stop my tears.

"Of course. Kailangan ko lang talaga makalimot.." I told her. Naiiyak na yumakap din si Vee and Jane. Hindi ko na napigilan at naiyak na rin ako kasama nila. I will miss them a lot.. but staying here will just make me remember everything.