The Most Beautiful Thing

Chapter 22

Chapter 22
for all that it's worth

Akala ko madali lang mag-mahal.

I thought love is so easy because all you have to do is to enjoy and cherish it. It was too late when I realized that you have to fight for it.

But you have to pick your battles.

Because in this battle, if I chose to fight for it, alam kong matatalo lang ako. If we continue to fight for this destructive love, one of us will surely lose. I can't fight his family...

I cried the whole night when I got home hanggang sa hindi na kaya ng mga mata kong umiyak pa. I fell asleep crying, hindi ko nga alam anong oras na yun. Max flooded me with calls and messages pero lahat yun ay hindi ko sinagot. I'm planning to leave agad and go to Cassie's kasi feeling ko he will go here just to talk to me.

After ako mapahiya sa harapan ng family niya and after ako sabihan ng Angkong niya, wala na akong lakas ng loob lapitan pa siya.

I can fight for him, yes. Oo kaya ko siya ipaglaban and I'm not afraid to do so. Pero hearing those words from his family, sobrang sakit. It hurts because it's true because we are only affected only if alam natin sa sarili nating totoo.

At lahat ng sinabi nila sakin.. totoo. I'm way out of Max's league. He deserves someone better. Not me na hindi pa graduate, and wala sa line ng business at wala rin ginawa kundi hilain siya pababa. I don't feel any hate towards his family since alam ko naman na mangyayari ito.

Puro sugat ang katawan ni Max.. and his face was still healing.. and it was all my fault. Hinayaan ko maging ganon. I understand bakit ganon nalang ang galit sakin ng family niya. I will feel guilty siguro lalo na pag nakita ko siya.

"Ria..." Red knocked outside my door. Pinunasan ko ang luha kong nakawala sa mata at tinignan if okay ba ang mukha ko. It was all sore.. but it's okay.

"Come in.."

Binuksan ni Red ang pintuan at pumasok siya with my breakfast. Ngumiti siya sakin at umupo sa dulo ng bed at nilagay ang tray ng food sa tabi ko.

"Eat up. Bakit kaba andito ha? Don't blame yourself for what happened with Max!" He said. Hearing Max's name made me remember everything that happened. Kung paano niya ako niligtas dahil sa gulo na ginawa ko...

Umiling ako and I looked down. Tears started to flow at wala na akong nagawa to stop it. Red doesn't know anything about us... hindi niya alam lahat ng sinabi sakin ng family ni Max. Walang nakaka-alam kundi sila Vee lang kaya hindi ko masabi sakanya.

"Ria why are you crying?" He asked at lumapit sakin. He hugged me at lalo akong naiyak, the soft sobs now turned in to loud cries I almost couldn't breathe properly.

I love Max. I love him so much but why does it hurt to love him like this? Sobrang nasasaktan ako, I could not even sleep nor eat nor explain what I'm feeling to Red and my friends.

Umiling lang ako sakanya. I don't want to tell him about us.. because kakalimutan ko na lahat yun ngayon.

"Ria, you're traumatized. Wala na sila.. Max's family took care of it and made sure na hindi na sila makikita pa dito or else they will stay in the prison for a lifetime.." he said. "I know it's hard and I know you're experiencing depression right now but I just want you to know that we are here for you.. you're not alone alright?"

Hearing this from my brother calms me down, but the pain inside my chest won't go away. Hindi ko kaya isipin na mawawala na sakin si Max. Hindi ko kaya pakawalan siya, I don't know how to walk away from him.