Hot Mello (Book 1)

Idk

I was in love with Mello, and he, I don't know. I mean, he was dating me and whatever, but I wasn't blind. I'm not gonna say I wasn't stupid because I know I could be. But I couldn't deny what I knew, try as I might.

Mello had a life long best friend. His name was Matt and he was probably everything I wasn't. I didn't know him too well, since Mello made sure to keep us apart.

So while Mello and I went on our dates, I knew he went home to Matt. And like I said, I wasn't blind. I knew they was more than just friendship there. Whether or not they'd already acted on it, I didn't know. But what I did know, was that I could never ever hope to "compete" against Matt. Not that it should be a competition, but let's face it, it was.

I don't know why Mello even dated me, it didn't seem as though he even liked me most of the time. When we fought, we fought hard. But when he was nice to me, how do you describe the happiest feeling in the world?

I knew I shouldn't trust myself or my feelings, I had my issues. But Mello, I loved him.

Matt was always there though. And in a way, I knew they were right together, you know? But I was still stubborn, I wanted what I couldn't have. And I hoped, if I tried harder, maybe I could be good enough someday. But I couldn't. Of course I couldn't. I was no one.

Mello, he was everything. He was my everything.

He and Matt would be happy together, like normal people deserve.

And I'd always be alone. That's just how it was and always would be. Real love just isn't a thing for me. So I'll deal with it, I'll move on.

You can't lose what you never had.