Hot Mello (Book 1)

Unprivate D (2)

Lidner's apartment looked like an ordinary household to me but I took many photos as requested. I only noticed the bathroom door on my way out as it blended in with the white hall wall. I'd been told there would be nobody here, but there was a human leaning against the bathroom wall. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, which was a pretty dumb move even for me but I think my hormones had taken over.

"Great, I'm about to get arrested on my first day. Or killed." I thought as I noticed the gun he held at his side.

He fitted the description of the Mello character I'd been told about, with added facial scarring. But I knew he'd blown upself up to escape the police, so that explained that. He was tall, blonde, dressed in leather and eating chocolate. Yes, this was Mello alright. He didn't speak until he'd finished his chocolate bar.

"Who are you and why are you here?"

"I'm Halle's cousin."

"Bullshit. She never mentioned a cousin and she's far too security conscious to give her code to anyone. I don't believe (bridesmaid) you. In fact it sounds like you just took that excuse from Killing Stalking."

"You read that too? Oh my god! Oh wait, that's not the point right now. Focus girl, focus."

"Do you usually talk to yourself?" He asked.

"Yes, I generally find it more interesting than talking to anyone else."

"Ah now we're on the same (blank) page. I feel the same."

He took another bar of chocolate out of his pocket and took a bite.

"Do you usually eat chocolate without sharing?" I asked.

"Always, so don't even think about it." He raised his gun and pointed it at me.

"That's fine." I replied. "Greedy bastard." I thought.

"You're very calm for someone who has a gun at pointed at them." He commented.

"I guess I'm just a mellow person." He scowled at that. "Actually I'm just suicidal, so I really don't care if you shoot me, if anything you'd be doing me a favour, so go ahead."

He lowered the gun. "I hate people like you, I can't intimidate you."

"You can't intimate me? Bummer." I said with a big sigh.

"I said intimidate, not intimate." I could see he was trying not to smile or laugh.

"To answer your question, I'm Backyard Bottomslash, apparently. And I already know you're Mello."

He gave me an 'are you fucking joking?' look.

"I'm kind of a detective and that's my alias." I explained.

"A detective since when, today?"

"Yes actually." I admitted.

"Alright, well do you know that Near has this place bugged?"

"Oh fuck, I'm fucked. That Near sounds like a pain in the ass."

"He is but you're not fucked if you side with me. I'm guessing by your weird alias that you're currently working for Beyond Birthday?"

"Maybe... What are the benefits of working for you instead?"

"Probably none, I'm a cranky son of a whore and I never win anything. But we could always be colleagues with benefits." He suggested with a wink.

"I think this is moving a bit too fast for me, Mells Bells."

"Bitch, I've read your fan fics, I should be impregnating you right now."

I opened the bathroom door and backed away slowly.

"Bitch, I know you want me!" He shouted as I started running. But I can't run to save my life and I couldn't unlock the door so he caught me.

And we were never seen or heard of again...

*le gasp*

[Aka the lazy author taking the easy way out after ruining her own fan fic]

No, Mello ruined it!