Hot Mello (Book 1)

Goodbye

NSFW

"Tell me how you closed the door
Knowing nobody could love you more"

I lay in bed beside Mello after morning sex, as he opened another chocolate bar.

"Hey Mello, we should go on a date."

I draped one arm across his bare chest but he pushed it away.

"I don't want to go on some dumb date. We're just screwing around."

"But I thought you loved me..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

I curled up into the bed covers, trying not to cry. I was hit by a wave of nausea and ran to his ensuite bathroom to be sick. He followed me.

"Can you stop throwing up in my bathroom every fucking morning, it's disgusting."

"I'm not doing it on purpose, Mello." I replied.

"Wait, every morning...you'd better not be pregnant. I don't want your child so you can either get rid of it or look after it yourself."

"Or I could give it to an orphanage."

He left in a hurry, and I closed the toilet lid and rested my head on it. I knew I'd gone too far saying that when he grew up in an orphanage, but I was hurting badly. I dragged myself off the floor and back to his bedroom, where I got dressed.

He saw me on my way out.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I guess I'm going to the doctor." I said with a sigh.

It took me ages to walk there as I felt so weak and ill. It was snowing and of course I kept seeing happy couples. I had to wait for ages in the waiting room, it was packed because of the weather and full of children.

I loved children but I couldn't devote myself to looking after one full time. I could hardly look after myself, I was always depressed and sleeping, and a baby didn't exactly fit in with my job in the mafia either. Maybe if I had Mello for support I could have coped. I wiped away tears, I loved him so much and I thought we had something, but I now knew I meant nothing to him.

*Timeskip*

I went back to Mello's house after seeing the doctor. He wasn't happy to see me but let me in.

"I don't have money to give you for an abortion and I'm not giving you child maintenance or whatever, so don't even think about asking me."

"I'm not pregnant, Mello." I told him quietly.

"Good, but then why are you here? I told you, we can have sex but I'm not interested in dating or seeing you outside of the mafia otherwise."

"I have fucking cancer!" I yelled.

He stared at me.

"What? You're a fucking gangster? I know that, I work with you. Do you think I'm stupid?"

I just shook my head, sat on his couch and took a bar of chocolate from the coffee table.

"Don't eat my chocolate!" He yelled.

"Here, take it. I only took one bite, I'll buy you a new one."

He took it and sat on the couch beside me.

"Mello, I said I have cancer."

"Oh...shit. But you can get treatment, right?"

"No, I don't want it."

"Why the fuck not?"

"I've spent most of my life wishing I was dead. I'm not going to use medical resources and take away from people who want to live. Who will care when I die anyway, you certainly won't. You win, you get rid of me for good. I won't chase after you anymore like a fucking idiot."

I stood up and put my bag on my back.

"I'm leaving now. I won't come back to you or the mafia. I'm going home to die alone. Goodbye Mello."

I walked over to the door and looked back at him.

"I fucking love you." I told him for the last time.

Then I left, closing the door behind me.

"Let me hold you, for the last time."