Hot Mello (Book 1)

Gun Moll (Happy Birthday To Me)

Gun Moll: A gangster's mistress or girlfriend.

*Mello Pov*

What do you do when you own a gun and your girlfriend is suicidal?

I came home from a long day of investigating. The apartment was in darkness and silence. I opened the bedroom door and saw Y/N lying in bed, lifeless but for the sounds of her crying. She didn't even react to my presence, I just had to check she was still alive before I went to hide my gun. I was running out of hiding places, having to change it all the time. She swore she hadn't the energy to look for it again anyway but I couldn't take the chance. All it took was a moment and she could be gone. I hated this, we'd been so happy together until the depression hit her hard. I loved her so much, I knew she loved me too, but she was slipping away from me. I returned to the bedroom and went in to talk to her. I was also running out of ideas to try and help her. She'd already given up, I knew that.

"Hey, Y/N," I sat on the bed beside her and put my arms around her from behind. She grabbed onto my hand but didn't move otherwise.

"Do you want to come out to the living room and sit with me?" She shook her head. "Then do you want to watch anime in bed?"

"No, my eyes are too tired," Even her voice was lifeless, a monotone.

"You don't even listen to music anymore, you always had music on before."

"There's no point."

"You barely got up over Christmas, you didn't get up at all at New Year's. Your birthday is coming up, what do you want to do?" I tried asking.

"Nothing, just sleep."

"Y/N, please..."

She cried harder and it broke my heart.

"I'm sorry, I just can't," She sobbed.

"Ok," I held her in my arms and let her cry.

"Your next doctor's appointment is in a few weeks, maybe we could bring it forward?"

"I've been going there for years, it's made no difference," She replied.

"But you weren't this bad when we first met."

"It can go away sometimes but it always comes back. So why bother?"

"For me. I need you. I'm so scared leaving you here every day."

"You have to work."

"I'll give up the Kira case and help you more."

"No, Mello. You need to do that, it's your purpose."

"I don't care."

"I'd only feel guilty and you'd resent me."

"I don't know what to do anymore."

I was crying by then too.

"You don't have to do anything."

"I'm your boyfriend. Of course I have to do something. I don't want to lose you."

"You'll probably do something stupid like blow yourself up again and die first anyway. I'm tired Mells, I need to sleep now."

She was asleep almost before she'd finished speaking. I left the room quietly, then put my biking jacket and boots on, grabbed my keys and left the apartment after taking my gun back from the new hiding place. I rode to one of the mafia hideouts, I'd blown one of five up and I knew which one I needed to visit now.

She was right, I had another plan and might not survive this time. It didn't even matter if I did or not, my girl's spirit had bascially departed this world, I couldn't help her and there was no world for me without her. I might not be here for her birthday, despite asking her about it. I doubted it would make much difference to her at this stage.