Far From Joy » Ellie Goulding [au]

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

•Ellie's Point of View•

December 28th 1998

My eyes flickered open as soon as I heard my four day olds cries for the umpteenth time tonight.

I looked at the clock to see the little hand on the five. Wasn't I just up for her?

Either way, I cursed profanities under my breath.

I got out of the hospital bed, walking on the porcelain like floor to where the cries were coming from.

"I love you more than I love myself, but will you ever shut up?" I asked the four day old who just kept wailing away.

I cursed more profanities under my breath, as my umpteenth head-ache this morning started to come on from Taylor's cries.

"Hey there, calm down, yeah?" I asked picking her up in my arms- obviously with my sleep deprivation, I remembered barely anything about this parenting stuff. Not reading those damned parenting books are coming back to bite me in the bloody arse now.

"I bet you're hungry, aren't you?" I asked. I was as stupid as a post to think she would reply to me.

"You're always hungry." I rolled my eyes, cradling the tiny infant and rocking her slowly as I walked to get one of the pre-made bottles. Thankfully the nurse had helped me a lot.

I had gone into the hospital on Christmas eve. Cold, crying, stupid about parenthood, and not over my ex-boyfriend.

Taylor's cries had lessened by the time I found a mid-temperature bottle, I didn't waste a second before seeing if she was actually was hungry. To my extreme relief, she was.

As I sat down on the hospital bed and fed Taylor. I couldn't help but wonder where my own mum was. Somebody had given her the message I presume. I had been much too exhausted physically and mentally to think of giving her a ring.

That was when my door was knocked on lightly, then revealing my mum.

"I got 'ere as quick as I could." She exhaled lightly seeing Taylor in my arms.

"How is everybody?" I asked as she sat down.

"It took a lot of convincing for Alex and Jordan to believe that I was leaving for business. Other than that it's good, everybody misses you, Elena." She smiled lightly.

"Did you tell everybody I was exiled and wished I could be there with them too?" I asked straight faced. I was still upset.

"I know you're still upset, Elena. I did what I did to make sure this didn't happen again." My mum said, trying to be as nice as she could. She didn't want me exiling her from my life. She knew how easily I could, she had already helped move me out.

I quickly burped Taylor before getting off the bed and rocking her in my arms, hoping she would fall asleep within seconds. For the times she did sleep, she was a heavy sleeper thank god.

"She's beautiful, El." I heard my mum's voice and I looked over my shoulder to see her casting a loving glance at Taylor. I couldn't just completely shut my mum out.

"She is." I smiled for my mum, in what was the first time in six months she had seen me smile. My mum's face lit up, she knew I was still upset with her, but I was gradually improving my attitude towards her.

"You did good." She congratulated me.

"It would've been better--" my mum cut me off, obviously not wanting to hear any negativity come out from my mouth. in this moment, she was trying to gain our relationship back. She was the only one who knew what was going on in my life, so like I said- I couldn't just shut her out.