Far From Joy » Ellie Goulding [au]

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven

•Taylor's Point of View•

December 31st, 2013

I looked to the macbook laid in front of Ellie and I, a blank document awaiting us. I swallowed some of the saliva that had been stuck in my throat. I had been excited to get this off of us, this huge secret. I had thought this would be easy to get out, but it wasn't. It was a huge process, one of which we had to keep re-reading and erasing, this was the third time we had restarted. Ellie was getting more frustrated by the restart, neither of us knew how to approach this topic.

"Should I start it off directing it to my fans?" Ellie asked me. Sam was out running Ellie's errands before everybody came back to her flat. Last night we brought Ellie to the tower of London for a private tour and she loved it, thank God. After we got back from the tower we brought everybody back to the flat to have a few drinks, of course nor Louis or I were invited to share the alcohol, although I did have a few sips of Ellie's champagne. She had a horrible hangover this morning anyways, why not share?

"That could be a good idea. They always support you so I think it would be good directing the message to them," I agreed, hoping we could get it right this time.

She started typing on the macbook, 'Dear Goulddiggers,' I knew that would stay after I had told her my own opinion in that matter. An idea must've sparked in her brain as she took the laptop and began furiously typing, stopping for only a second as she looked to me.

"Do you not want me to address something, or do you feel you want to address something?" She asked, paying her full attention to me. I however, felt like if she thought something needed to be said or not said, she should be the judge upon the words that were said.

"It doesn't matter to me, whatever you want to say, I fully support it. We've been through this three times before," I answered attentively, making sure she continued on with writing the first paragraph again.

"Taylor, I hope you know that after I finish this letter, you won't be able to do normal things again. We're going to be talked about a lot. Not everything that's going to be said by people will be nice, and I don't want you to look at any of it. None of the papers, none of the articles online, nothing. I also know that when we head to Heathrow to get a plane back to Seattle, paparazzi men are going to be waiting for us... Maybe we should wait till--" I cut the worried blonde off, not letting her postpone this any longer.

"We're not postponing this any longer. Think of this as a new year resolution being done before the years even out. You were talking to Sam and I about you going skydiving this time last year, this isn't near as exhilarating as skydiving. Continue writing," I wasn't letting her shut the screen and give up. There was going to be paps at Heathrow no matter what.

"You're right. We can't postpone this any longer. Are you absolutely sure about this, love? There's a lot of downsides to this, although it does mean a lot of good things as well," she placed the macbook on the glass table, grabbing both of my hands with hers.

"I'm positive with this, mom. Everything is going to go fine," I assured her again, making sure she didn't close the laptop and give up on this for the day. I wasn't letting that happen. She sighed before grabbing the macbook again and typing away on it.

"Can you grab my mobile for me love? It's charging on the night stand beside the bed." Ellie asked. I looked to her and nodded, placing my own phone down on the glass table before getting up to retrieve Ellie's phone.

I left her to type while I grabbed her phone, and possibly an apple for myself. When I grabbed Ellie's phone off the bedside table, I noticed a few texts from Sam. I didn't think anything else of it as I walked back to the living room. Reminding myself to grab anything, preferably an apple, from the kitchen.