Far From Joy » Ellie Goulding [au]

Epilogue

Epilogue

August 31st, 2014

I looked out to the crowd that was with me. Making me think that although I was taking this break that I had worked so hard for, I would miss this feeling. The complete rush the stage gave me, how I could connect with people by singing my own songs.

Tonight was special. This crowd would get something no other crowd had been treated with; Taylor and Sam were to be called on stage near the end of it. We were bringing them on right before Burn. I didn't know how this was going to work but Jamie assured me each time I asked that it would, without a doubt, work. Taylor and Sam still had no idea that this was happening.

"Put your hands up if you are with me right now," I asked the crowd to do, and the ones that were watching me put their hands up and added some very loud screams. "Bloody hell, there's so many of you," I messed with my greasy, sweat-ridden hair.

As I continued with my set, now at the opening bit of Lights, I became a bit anxious. The closer we got to Burn, the more anxious I got, I don't know why I was getting anxious like I was, I had no reason to be anxious, it was just Taylor and Sam.

I felt like I hadn't of before for some reason, I was happy that I was finaly getting a break and was able to head to Seattle and stay there with Taylor and Sam, while Taylor went into year twelve, grade eleven traditionally. God, my Taylor was in her second last year of high school, before I knew it, she would be away to college or university or God knows what she was planning on doing, I just knew she was growing up way too fast for me.

I tried to lose myself in my own music, dancing harder than usual to this song, I was trying to get my mind away from the horribly anxious side of myself. I knew that if I kept reminding myself that they were coming on, and I kept getting more and more anxious, I wasn't going to be able to perform to my full extent and I don't want any of these people watching me going home and thinking I put on a crap show. I want them going home feeling like they've just ran a marathon, and that they'll definitely come and see me again.

"Ellie, I don't know what you're thinking about, but even from behind I can see you're panicking. Calm down," Joe told me in my ear piece and I didn't know it was that noticeable.

"To all of yous that have been watching me tonight, I just want to thank you for coming here tonight," I tried to divert my thoughts onto the crowd, and only the crowd but I was so nervous and anxious for some reason. I heavily believed it was that Taylor and Sam would come on stage and be fully revealed when everybody knew that was out of my comfort zone, I wanted Taylor to live a semi normal life but because of my career that would never happen.

The opening music of You My Everything started up and I once again had to entertain my mind away from the fact that within four minutes, the two that meant the absolute world to me were fully being exposed. I obviously over-thought way too much. This shouldn't of taken this much anxiety and brain power to worry about.

I continued to have myself get lost in the music, dancing and trying to put on an amazing show, I was over-worrying and I just need to stop worrying for once. After all the times that Taylor had told me to stop worrying, I truly had to take her words into thought and stop worrying.

That was also when the song ended and all the words I had thought before hand were thrown out the window, or off the stage in my case.

"We have one last song for you tonight! But, before we get into that I have two very special people back stage that I would love for you all to meet," I smiled, trying to hold back the fact that I was shaking quite badly.

"Please, one last time put your hands up if you are with me!" I yelled, seeing all the hands that were raised and wondering why I was doing this.

"Well, now I know that there is bloody thousands of you out there, I would very much like to bring up those two people I was talking about. I love them very much and I honestly don't know where I would be without them. Would you all like to know who I'm talking about if you don't know already?" I asked, getting a roar of cheers from the audience.