Payb Takes Book 3

Two

November 26, 2017, 11:00pm:

R: Ano pong ibig niyong sabihin, Nay? Asan po si Meng?

ND: Kasama na ni Dean bumalik ng Manila. *sighs* Mula nung hinatid mo dito kanina, walang ginawa kundi magkulong sa kwarto. Walang kinakausap, kahit si Coleen. Tapos ayun na nga bigla sabi ni Niki may pinost na sulat. Nagulat kaming lahat. Pagsilip namin, umiiyak na pero di pa rin nagsasalita. Inalo na lang namin tapos nung paalis na nga si Dean, sumama na kasi may trabaho pa daw siya bukas. Ayaw na nga namin patuluyin ni Tatay pero mapilit eh. Kasama naman niya si Dean, hindi naman siya pababayaan nun. Baka nakauwi na yun. Di pa ba tumawag sa'yo?

R: *shakes his head, fighting back his tears and the fear that is starting to claw through his heart, answers weakly* Hindi po. Hindi din sumasagot sa tawag ko kaya dito na po ako tumuloy.

ND: *sighs and shakes her head* Hindi ko na alam kung anong iniisip niya basta ang alam ko sobrang nasasaktan ang anak ko pero mawala akong magawa para alisin yung sakit. Hindi naman kasi ito sugat lang na pwedeng linisin at lagyan ng band-aid, hindi naman pilay lang na pwedeng hilutin, kabag na idadaan sa mansanilla, lagnat, ubo o sipon na pwedeng gamutin. Ang magagawa ko lang ay mahalin siya at suportahan. *sniffles, wipes a few tears from her eyes*

R: *takes ND's hand* Sapat na po yun, Nay. Sa ngayon, yun po talaga ang kailangan niya. Salamat po.

ND: Salamat din, anak. Alam kong hindi mo siya pababayaan.

R: Hinding-hindi po. Ako na po muna ang bahala.

ND: Sige, anak. Maraming salamat pero wag mo din pababayaan ang sarili mo ha? Mukhang namumutla ka.

R: *shakes his head and smiles weakly* Okay lang po ako, Nay. Pakisabi na lang po kay Tatay na uuwi na muna po ako. Siguradong naghihintay na dun si Menggay.

ND: Sige, nak. Pasensiya na sa Tatay. Ganyan din kasi yan pag may iniisip, ayaw nang kausap. Ingat sa biyahe.

R: Thank you po. *hugs ND and touches his forehead to her hand before leaving*

//

He arrives at home to an empty condo.

"Love?" He calls. There is no response. The fear that was clawing through his heart now completely takes over it.

"Meng" He calls again the silence that answers him echoes back the alarm already blaring inside.

"Maine, please naman." He sobs as he drags his feet to their bedroom, hoping to find her there, only to find it empty with only a letter neatly folded on their bed telling him that she was there.

"No. Please, wag ganito, Meng, please." His knees that were but struggling to support the heavy weight of his soul finally gives in as he slumps down on the bed and picks the letter up with trembling hands.

He takes a deep breath and slowly opens the letter.

Dear Richard Faulkerson Jr,

I'm sure you read the letter that I posted in my blog by this time. I know you must be hurting and confused. I hope you find the answers in this letter.

Have I told you enough how much I love you? I fear I haven't so before you continue, let me tell you that I do. I love you. I love you more than all. I love you more than anything. I love you more that I could ever love myself. I love you and only you for the rest of eternity.

You are a good man. The best. You are one of a kind and it will be selfish to keep you all to myself, to lock you up in this same box I am in, to hold you back. The world deserves to have you too and you deserve the world.

I'm sorry, Love. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise when you left me with my parents this afternoon. I wanted to. I wanted to stay strong for you, to hold on to what we have, ALL that we have but my weak heart can only hold so much.

I tried. I really did. I tried for over two years and I wanted to keep trying because you asked me to. If only to make you happy, I will, I'll do anything but I can't continue doing so when I see how much you have given up and sacrificed for me, for this love team.

I know what you will say. You made those choices freely for what you thought was best for us. I know. You are good and you love me. There is no question in my heart that you are and you do.

It is because that you are too good and you love me too much, that I wanted to do what I did, for all your sacrifices allow me to do just one.

Remember when it was uncomplicated? Remember when we were just happy and content to wait for the next time we see each other? Remember when everyone got along? Remember when there was less expectations? Remember when kindness always won over the hate? I do. Everyday and I miss those times.

So, I wondered, if I can do it. If I can give it all up and press reset.

I made my choice. It may not be the best one but I did. I chose to write each word in that letter, every truth and a lie so we can start over, YOU can start over, without expectations. I wanted to have the freedom to choose what my heart really yearns for and I wanted you to have the freedom to seize every opportunity that comes your way like you should because you deserve it. You deserve all. Take them with both hands.

I know what's coming. I know people will hate me. I may not be able to take it as easily as I hope I would but I want you to know that I am ready to face them as they come and you don't have to worry about me.

Don't fear, my love. Please dry your tears. I am not leaving you. I can't do that. How can I leave behind the one person I have ever loved this much, my home?

I love you and I am as committed to you as the day I said I do.

It's just I think that we need this time apart, just for a little while. I don't want you to see me go through this storm that I created for the next few days and I don't think I can bare another second of seeing you struggle for me. It will break me to see you do that.

I am not sure what will happen next exactly but I know what my heart really wants. That is to be Mrs. Richard Faulkerson Jr., to love and support you, to watch you soar and conquer the world even if that means stepping away from the spotlight that has shone on us for too long.

I love you, RJ. I will never be too far from your reach. You will always know where to find me and I will always find my way home to you.

I love you. Always remember that I love you, especially when it hurts, especially when it gets too hard.

Yours always,
Nicomaine

"No. Hindi pwede to." He said defiantly as he folded up the letter in his hand.

He quickly got up, wiped his tears and marched out of their room to the elevator.

//

Dean: Kuya!

R: Dean, si Meng please.

D: Kuya kasi...

R: Please...

D: Kuya, wag muna ngayon baka kasi magalit siya sa akin. Bilin niya kasi na gusto muna niya na wag muna kitang papasukin.

R: Please... Sandali lang. Please...

D: Sorry, Kuya pero hayaan na muna natin siyang magpahinga muna. Ikaw din. Mukhang pagod ka na. Umuwi ka na muna at magpahinga.

R: *sighs* Sige. Pakisabi kay Meng na babalik ako. Araw-araw hanggang sa handa na siyang umuwi kasama ko.

D: Wag kang mag-alala, Kuya, pag ready na si Menggay, ako na mismo maghahatid sa kanya. *pats R's shoulder*

R: Salamat, Dean. *nods his goodbye and leaves*

To be continued...

*********

Unbeta'ed and not proofread.

Hinga lang, mga mahal. Di pa tapos ang laban. See you next chapter.

Thank you for reading.