wolfstar oneshots 💕 (Finished)

47. going back to the start

Sirius' POV
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After a few days back in the Order things have gone really busy... the death eaters are acting up and we sense a war heading on...

The air is slightly tense as everyone is very very sirius *snickers*... James and most of the leaders in the Order are going through some papers about disappearings and alot of other cases including muggle and half blood murders...

I was trusted to clear a case with james... so naturally we were sitting together,looking through some papers and giving our full on thoughts to the problem.. my head was spinning and i cant focus into hearing what james was saying. My eyes wandered to the kitchen. Where im sitting, i could see the kitchen clearly..

Molly and Lily are awesome cooks and they made a table full of treats and cakes and everything to clear our heads... cups of the brown-black muggle drink are spread around the table..

One of those cups landed in the hands of Remus Lupin.. my old friend.. since the train ride to fighting off death eaters, he is always by my side.. i admire his loyalty to the order and how hes kind to everyone even though sometimes hes treated differently of his condition.

I looked at the man. I took in every colour and detail of his face and outfit. From the top of his brown hair to his bright eyes then to his moving lips, engaging in a conversation with Kingsley... i noticed he was wearing the sweater i gave him last christmas and he looks handsome in it. His sweater paws holding the steaming cup while listening to every word...

He is the calm in the storm of everything in my life.. it didnt took me long to realize i was actually falling for the werewolf in sweaters.. i saw him more than just a best friend. I love him so much that i would give the world to be with him.. i will protect this precious cinnamon roll till i die... however i know forever in my heart,i could never say all that to him... because hes clearly straight and he is obviously into Tonks and i dont have the guts to say anything.. im scared that it would ruin my friendship with him and the marauders..in this time of hour i just cant afford to loose him...

but my attention diverted from the talking Lupin to the glasses that looked at me seriously...

I just realized james was asking a question... "What ? Repeat that please" i said blinking and looking back to the papers james held  out for me to see... remus lupin what are you doing to me ? Whatever it is I knew he wont like me back in the same way...

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Remus' POV
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The headquarter is crazier than ever. This month the numbers of cases have increased and the members of the Order have been busy searching for answers.

Everyone is working their heads off. Talking about plans, murder cases, disappearings, death eaters and voldemort.. im sure everybody needs a break from all this.. even for me, i am known as the hard worker of the marauders but i just cant handle the constant buzzing of work load on my head

Thats why i decided to take a break and have some coffee or what ever this black drink is called. Coffee helps me to think better.. sooner or later the buzzing because subtle background noises and i was at peace..

Then Kingsley joined me on our little 15 minute break.... he was having some tea while we talked about growing war and everything in between.. he was talking about the death eaters growing murders when my eyes fell on my 2 best friends huddled together on the couch..

Sirius and james looking very sirius *no regrets* at a bunch of case files... sweat droplets forming on their foreheads showing of how over worked they are...

But my attention is mostly to sirius black.. the man looked so engrossed to the files,i took the time to notice his features... sirius is beyond handsome. His signature black hair being tied in a loose ponytail on his neck.. his eyebrowd knitted together in concentration and worry.. his eyes looking straight at the paper and his lips moving while giving comments to james...

Sirius is not all looks and pranks but he has a big heart and he knows his shit... it took a ton of bravery to stand up to his whole family... especially to a family known for its association with death eaters and voldemort him self..
I admire him so much and i would do anything to keep him next to me...he is so precious for me, i couldnt imagine what would happen if 1 day i woke up and couldnt see his face anymore. I would miss his smile, his charisma, his energy and every single fibre of his being.. i knew i loved him but what about him? Is our feelings mutual or is it just me?

I could never say this though and i know it... i would probably break every bond we had.. me and sirius and james and peter... the marauders would break apart and im sure they would see me as a freak.. a homosexual werewolf ? Am i mad ? But my feelings for sirius is true even though its not mutual

My attention went back to my conversation with kingsley and we shared a couple of comments but my mind is still on the raven haired man who will never like me back...

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3rd person POV
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As obvious as it may seem,the 2 men never knew each others feelings... the kept it to themselves scared of rejection

The cycle goes on.
They notice each other then they realize their feelings then they look away yet again scared of rejection from the other side..

Until one of them had the courage to admit to the other of their feelings then the cycle would go on and they go back to the start again

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