wolfstar oneshots 💕 (Finished)

77. No

theme song: paper hearts- tori kelly
---------------

sirius just got home, his face was pale and tired. he dumped the bag he was holding to a random spot on the floor.

kicking off his shoes, he stumbled his was in the shared apartment. remus heard the sound and rushed out of his reading room.

"sirius ? are you okay love ?" he asked. his eyed wide with worry.

"im fine remus." sirius answered coldly.

remus watched as he opened the fridge, to fish out a bottle of alcohol. the taller boy knew something was off with sirius.

"no sirius dont drink. its not gonna help sirius please, i'll make you your favourite food please dont-"

"SHUT UP LUPIN !"

remus' mouth stopped in its tracks, it hanged ajar. sirius never called him by his last name, no matter the problem. this was the first time.

"you had a bad day, i get that but drinking wont solve it please just dont-"

sirius glared at him. "i told you to shut up right !? you cant tell me what to do ! stop being such a control freak ! i dont need you help and im very much capable thanks ! and you calling me every few hours, stop being so clingy oh my God !"

without realizing, sirius has taken large steps at remus. his hands waving around as he emphasized his means. the bottle dangerously being flung around.

Remus was tough physically but the words sirius just said made him hunch down. his knees felt weak, even shaking slightly.

he remembered how orion black had the same look when he cursed sirius out of his house.

sirius kept shouting, the mean words rolled off his tongue. remus couldnt handle it anymore.

he clasped his hands to his ears and slid down on a wall. his knees closely to his chest. his tears flowing harshly down his face.

the bottle slipped out of sirius's hands and smashed beside remus. the liquid inside and glass hit remus.

but the momentum snapped sirius out of it. he looked at the sight before him. it was as if he became orion black.

"no.. no.. im not him" sirius mumbled.

he stumbled back and knelt infront of a shaking remus.

"remus.. im.."

remus opened his eyes slowly. it became irritated red from all the crying.

"im sorry im sorry Remus i didnt mean it i swear-" sirius reached out to touch remus.

but the scared boy hugged himself tighter and shrunk into the wall.

"im scared" remus whispered. almost mouthing the sentence to sirius.

the latter felt his heart break. he caused the fear in remus' eyes. his lips shivered as he tried to speak.

"remus im sorry im sorry i would never hurt you please re" sirius cried

a tear slipped and now a stream followed its path.

remus unfurled himself, he bent on his knees and hugged sirius' neck. his body still shaking and the tears fell on sirius' shoulder.

"dont ever do that again please." the boy muttered.

sirius slowly lifted his arms and held remus tightly against his body. remus moved to sit on sirius' lap.

"im sorry i scared you, this is the last time i promise. if i ever go loose, you have to leave me." sirius whispered.

deep down, he feared himself. he was slowly turning into the twisted reflection of his father every time he let his emotions run rampant. he was becoming Orion Black.

remus shook his head. "no id never. i know youre not like him... im staying with you."

sirius cried harder. how lucky was he to have each other.

"God i love you remus, i promise, i would never lay a finger on you. "

"i know you wont" remus pulled back.

he looked into his lover's eyes. unlike orion's wild anger filled eyes, all he found was love and worry.

sirius' eyes were red, his vision was blurry from the on going tears.

"youre not like him sirius, i know youre not." remus nodded reassuringly.

his thumbs wiped the tears off of sirius' face. slowly trying to calm the other down.

sirius' breath slowly evened out. remus whispered encouragement. 

"its alright now sirius, calm down."

as if by magic, sirius stopped crying. but exhaustion washed over him like a wave.

all the emotions have drained him dry. as if a big blanket was draped on him.

"rest sirius, i'll clean this up. " remus stood up and offered his hand.

he pulled sirius up, holding him close. "im sorry re, im sorry" sirius kept mumbling. he had no more energy to speak.

"i know sirius its okay, i forgive you" remus would say every time he heard an apology.

he helped sirius change his wet clothes. then he tucked him in bed.

"youre forgiven sirius, youre loved. please rest now. i love you sirius."

"i love you so much remus." sirius said as he closed his eyes. "im sorry" he whispered one last time before drifting away.