Smile And Peace (Brothers Conflict Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twelve: Who Should I Blame?

Maria's PoV

I finally got accepted in the conservatory I tried and started my first day of school.

My class ended at 2 but I was still practicing here up until 4.

I was playing some Menuets and Sonatinas when I remembered those times when I was only 10

I was still in Grade 2 in piano back then...

And those days, I was being the most negative thinker on earth.

My parents were scolding me for not taking the lessons seriously and said some words.

Not harsh to their hearing, but were like needles to me.

They used to say that I wouldn't last a month and will eventually stop playing the piano.

I can't blame them because they never see me practice at home.

I picked up my things and started walking.

But not seeing me practice at home doesn't mean I won't play anymore.

I love the piano. I love music. I love the sound of it when my fingers move on their own.

At that time, I blamed them.

They kept on saying that I'll never be able to master the piano. They were looking down at me. They didn't trust me.

They did not believe in me.

Maybe that's why I didn't want to play. I was discouraged by their words that hurt me. That hits my heart and affects how I think.

Instead of being encouraged to be the best, I stuck with being the negative thinker and barely touched the portable piano at home...

Earning scoldings and more harsh words...

One day, I asked my Dad for a Studio Piano for my birthday since I feel much happier when I play the pieces with emotion. Portable pianos are like robots... --___--

But he said...

That why should he buy me one when I'm not even good at playing the piano.

And there was no 'yet' at the end.

And because I'm a negative thinker, to me, what he said was that I can never be a good pianist.

That made me even more discouraged.

I was asking myself, "Will I ever be a good pianist?"

They never understand...

But maybe that's because I don't open up to them.

But they're my parents, they should ask me.

People won't always notice your problems...

But they're my parents!

I don't know who I should blame anymore...

I'm not even sure if there's someone to blame...

Or if I was trying to find an excuse...