I Temporarily Lived By Your Side.

Chapter 27: You're Not Alone.

(Seol ah)

It's been almost two years. 

I was supposed to stay here for at least 3 years or so, but I worked so hard and I've been making so many plans. After much thought, I finally decided to pursue my career as a photographer and songwriter in Korea. I'll go there at Christmas. 

I haven't been seeing Myungsoo often, he only came here once because of his busy schedule, and I went to Korea a few times as well, we would meet during holidays or to celebrate our anniversary or birthdays. It's been six months since I last saw him, I really do miss him, I miss him all the time. Actually... I don't know if it's because we're not living in the same place but our relationship is in a limbo state right now, we're slowly becoming distant from each other, on one side, there's my depression that keeps eating me slowly and on the other side, there's Myungsoo who doesn't seem to be doing so well, we haven't been talking much lately.

I don't understand it. We've been okay just weeks ago. And now he's being really moody. We haven't talked on the phone for days, we only text each other now and then. And I'm not even making any efforts to make things better, probably because I'm just so tired of everything.

It's October and the weather is not that great, I don't know if that's the reason for my sudden depression but I haven't been able to go out or do anything for the last few days.  I usually like rain and cold days but I don't know what's wrong with me these days... Do I have a seasonal affective disorder?

I woke up today at around 10 am. I checked my phone but there was no notification, no message, no missed call, nothing. We haven't talked for like two days, I don't know what's wrong with him but I think he's probably stressed out due to all his activities and busy schedule so I just wanted to give him some space, I thought he would probably miss me or want to talk to me, or a least send me a good morning or good night text but I was wrong. 

 The weather seems quite nice today so I decided to take a walk outside. I haven't been out for days, I'll probably feel better if I put some good music on and walk for a while. 

I was walking all alone on the rainy streets without an umbrella... lost in my thoughts. I took out my phone and I was staring at his picture on my phone wallpaper when a notification popped up [NEWS: INFINITE L was admitted to the hospital due to his knee injury and fatigue because of excessive training] Wait, what??? Oh my God, that happened two days ago... Why didn't he or any of the other members tell me anything? I quickly dialed his number. Myungsoo please pick up... 

He did not pick up but I tried calling him again and again until he picked up.

"Myungsoo yah! Are you okay? I just saw the news, why didn't you tell me anything! How are you feeling right now?" I worriedly asked as soon as he picked up.

"I'm fine, it's nothing serious. I'm just resting at the hospital." He coldly said.

"Don't lie to me. I know you're not doing well, I can hear it through your voice.."

"Seol ah yah... I don't know what to do... they're probably already sick of me... I'm... I don't want to be a burden for anyone, I don't know what to do... I'm afraid I'll be abandoned... " I was shocked after I heard him saying this, his words broke my heart. I wish I was there to hug him, comfort him and be by his side. 

"What ... no What are talking about? a burden? Nobody's sick of you Myungsoo... You have your fellow members right by your side and you have me. Please don't say that..." I said trying to hold my tears back.