I Temporarily Lived By Your Side.

Chapter 33: I Temporarily Lived By Your Side.

A nurse passed by, I should go ask her. She probably knows where did Seol ah go.

"Excuse me, where is Seol ah?? Ah... The girl who was in this room, why is she not here?" I asked.

"Oh... that girl. You must be her boyfriend. She asked me to give you this." She handed me a letter.

"What is this? Why aren't you answering my question? I asked you, where is Seol ah? Where is she?"

"You have to calm down first, sir. I'll tell you. 

Yesterday, her condition suddenly got so much worse than before. We thought we were going to lose her, she had to stay in the resuscitation area almost all night. A friend of hers came and said that she has to be transferred to another hospital abroad. The doctor tried to stop him and warn him about the risks she'll have to face by traveling abroad like that. But her friend refused to listen to him, he said that he'll make sure she'll be alright and that all the documents were ready. I'm sorry but everything seemed to be legal, we couldn't stop him. I was there when she finally gained consciousness. I was there with her, even though she was still dizzy and weak, all she was talking about was you, she kept saying your name and she told me to tell you that she's sorry and that she will be back. She also asked me to give you this letter. " She said.

What is she talking about? She didn't leave. Seol ah didn't leave me again. Did she? ...

The nurse left, and I was left alone again in that empty and cold room. This is the second time, she has left again. And left me a letter. Didn't she promise that she will never do that again? I'm shocked, I can't even feel anything anymore.

I slowly opened the letter.

(The letter was written one week after their last breakup)

<<Myungsoo yah... This is the second time that I'm going to write you a farewell letter. Except that I don't know if you will ever receive this one. I probably won't be there when you will receive it... I'm sorry.

Now that I'm thinking about it, in movies, couples usually write love letters for each other but all that I've written to you are farewell letters. I should have shown you more love I'm sorry about that. I don't know how many times I'm going to say that I'm sorry in this letter, but I'm really sorry, I mean it.

It's been a week since we broke up. And even though I don't know why you broke up with me, I trust you and I know that you did it for a reason, I was so mad at you, is it because I knew I didn't have much time left? I just wanted to stay with you until the end. I was so selfish, that's why I was mad. But for some reason, I feel relieved that you were the one who broke up with me. I didn't know how to tell you that I'm so sick, I was worried I'll hurt you again. I hated myself so much when I left you alone a while ago, I knew you were suffering because of me, and I didn't want this to happen to you again. When JYP CEO asked me to go back to the company, I accepted for two reasons. The first one was because I needed money, the doctor said that there is a chance I may survive and I needed money for that. And the second reason was that I wasn't strong enough to completely get over you. I wanted to see you, I wanted to be with you, even if we're not together. I wanted to at least see your face, but it's getting harder for me now. It's so hard Myungsoo yah... Sometimes I feel like I'd better just give up but then I look back at all the times we spent together. 5 years is a really long time... But why do I feel like everything happened so fast?

Do you remember our first anniversary? You tried to cook my favorite meal for me but you ended up burning it because you fell asleep and I was out. You looked so embarrassed but I told you it was okay and we burst out laughing. We then ordered Pizza. You felt sorry because we couldn't go to a fancy restaurant but I felt like I was the happiest person in the world that day.