I’m still a little flustered that Jamal and I had almost kissed and again it was ruined by April and Lily. I’m not sure if I want it to happen or not? Without realising Jamal slips his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. April instantly notices and says “So what’s this then?” pointing to his hands on me and he slips it off and I look at him and he looks down shyly
“Nothing, just friends hanging out” she looks at me but isn’t convinced
“Friends?” she says with her eyes brows raised and Jamal goes quiet.
What does she have to have everybody? Argh she makes me so angry I should tell her what I think but I can’t. I’m not as mean as her “He was comforting me after Jack’s incident this morning. I was a little shaken up after you left”
“Oh I’m sorry Brooky. We should have stayed” she comes up and pulls me away from Jamal and Lily walks up and hugs me with her
“Are you okay Brook?” Lily asks and I nod
“I’m fine
” “That’s good….so guess who we met?” I look at her and my stomach drops more.
I totally forgot they were going to find Jasper. That’s another guy I’ll never get close too with approval of these 2. I look at them as they wait for me to ask “who?’ I ask softly
“Jasper!” Lily says dreamily
“Yeah, you know the guy who punched Jack for you this morning?” I nod
“Yeah, so where is he?” I ask wondering if I should say thank you again?
“Oh after chatting with us he had to go so we came back”
“That was quick” I say without realising how rude it came across and April looks at me
“Jasper said we could catch up later. He was busy I get it, it’s cool” I swallow before I choke
“Cool. Hey guys I need to go. Talk to you later”
“Sure bye” Lily and April hook their arms in Jamal’s and walk off.
He looks at me but I turn around, I can’t bear to see his sad eyes.
I decide to hang out in the library. Somewhere I know Lily or April wouldn’t go as cool people don’t hang out at the library. Seriously I wonder why we’re friends and why I’ve trusted April in holding so many of my secrets. All she does is use them against me, it’s like she enjoys torturing me? Either way I like hiding in here. It gives me some peace from their bullshit and who they’re going to hit on next. Sometimes it feels like all those girls ever think about is sex! It disgusts me. I walk in and say hi to Mrs Clements the librarian, she’s a lovely lady. She’ll normally hold the latest books for me to take home a read but since I’ve been really busy working and dealing with Emily. I haven’t had a chance to read anything. They’re still sitting beside my bed to read. I’ve tried to a few times but I’m always so exhausted. I go to the back of the library and find a bean bag to sit in and I grab out a book I brought to read. I get comfy and start to read and drown out the rest of the world with my head phones getting plugged into my ear and switched it on. Forgetting about the world around me for 10 minutes. Life’s too short to sit around waiting for something to happen and with April and Lily around even if it was to happen it wouldn’t unless approved by them. I just have to realise that I will not have a boyfriend or get a love interest around my friends and if I do it’ll have to be someone they have and I’m sure they’ll let me know everyday how they had them first. God maybe I do need new friends? Mine just make me more depressed!
