Be A Girl

Food

Reason #14 I'm writing this: You are way more important than those numbers on the scale.

"I will not be impressed with the internet until I can download food for free."

"I'm not hungry. But I'm bored THUS Im going to eat."

Food:

Hi all....okay, I'll have you know for some reason I feel awkward. Maybe I should just skip them "i'm back" and go straight to the topic.

So here is the thing. Today is about food. (Who am I kidding, everything is about food.) But I need to add alittle sappy story in italic to make you believe me. But first, lets admit it.

We don't just eat when we are hungry. I hate people who don't understand that I EAT FOR ALOT OF REASONS!

Like I'm bored. Yes, I eat when I'm bored. Because my damn tummy keeps getting confused between the words 'hungry' and 'bored'.

Or upset. Damn, I eat when I am upset. I eat so much that my tummy hurts and I cant sleep at night because I like sleeping on my stomach and when I eat so much it hurts to sleep on your tummy. IT'S COMPLICATED! But I eat when I am angry or upset.

The thing is: I eat! I eat! I eat. I EAT.

I eat because I love food. The whole world is a piece of shit filled with flies (judgemental people) and crickets (bitches and bullies) and then food comes in and I can no longer smell the disgusting smell of the world and I am engulfed in that amazing flavor which keeps smoothing me and telling me how beautiful I am. How beautiful food and I can be. I eat because off all things and people in this world, food is the only thing that hasn't fucked me up.

Well at least not directly.

See. It's like I hate yet love food. Because..I love that part of food when I am sad and angry and it just comes to me and flavors my mood. But I hate the other part. The part that slaps me on the face and goes like "bitch, nothing is for free. pay time!"

I hate how it makes me fat.

So here I am today... explaining that yes. We should eat. Whatever we want. McFlurry. Lasagna. Cupcakes. Pizza. Damn! ANYTHING YOU WANT! But that doesnt mean we should let go.

Now I know, I know. Why would I care. You'll ask. "Because being healthy actually makes you happier!" I swear...okay you need to read the promised sappy story so you can believe me..here you go:

See, I went on the vacation as I told you guys. And absolutely nothing went right. But for some damn reason, I'm happier than I've ever been in years!

For a start, I cut my hair. Now if you read this you'll be like "Oh! Cool" But if you see this you will scream holy mary and jump into a volcano. I look hideous and I should be sad BUT I KEEP LAUGHING everytime I pass the mirror! I went to the beach and the temperature was channing tatum hot and I forgot my sunblock resulting in the Hanna 0.2 version with the new feature of a burnt toast skin colour. I caught a cold, gained 2 kilos and laughed my ass off!

Nothing went right but everything was perfect. I don't know if anyone understands me but.. I wasn't trying anymore and ...it felt good to let go. See, last two years have been a 'transformation process' time for me. I  had just moved schools and I didnt want to be the kid that ate too much and talked to her books anymore. So I decided a total transformation is needed if I want to fit it. And that's how dear reader our topic starts today. One of the main things I needed to change was this: my weight....food.

MY food!

Now have you tried being a 85 kilos (or above) kid who is only 155 cm tall?? No? THEN DONT SAY IT'S EASY! Just shut up!  You don't get how hard it is to live with it! Not because you cant live with it! But because people wont let you live with it! How is being invisible called living?! What's there to live for? Heck, if I had gotten to sleep and never woken up no one would have noticed.

Now I really am not a strong person. I need motivation but if I get it I swear shit happens (I am actually proud of that). So, over the past two years I have managed to lose more than 25 kilos AND I am now 11 cm longer. I changed. Because I wanted to be noticed. But when I finally was..I wasn't happy. then now I realise I dont give a damn what other people think because simply, I am happy with who I am I shouldn't change or them.

I am proud. I am thankful because I see my mum struggling to breathe after walking too much and I am healthy but you know, when you strive so hard to do something and you finally achieve it you expect people to...i dont know..BE SHOCKED WITH YOU! But they just smiled and told me I looked better. It was like I was still not enough. And this is when I knew.

I knew I dont care what they care anymore because the only thing caring achieved is depressing me. I wanted to lose weight to stay healthy not to impress them. I wanted to lose weight so I can live.

Now, two years since I've finally become healthy, I have finally enjoyed this. AFTER TWO YEARS! ON A VACATION THAT WENT TERRIBLY WRONG! But because I finally didnt give a fuck what people said! I swam till my arms ached, I tried so much clothes on (something I used to hate when I was over weight) I ate what I wanted and I walked around not wondering if people think I'm fat or not.

And it felt good.

It feels good.

losing weight is hard, I wont lie. But if you have someone to motivate you, you can do it.  I volenteer to be your someone by the way. I want to be your someone. Losing weight is not about being slim or catching a guy. It's about being healthy. Use a BMI calculator (I will add a link in the end of the chapter.) and see if you are over weight or under weight or healthy. If you are healthy then you should eat whatever you want and exercise to stay healthy. Don't try to lose weight just because ''I think I will look hotter' if you are overweight then you should STILL eat whatever you want but try to make it balanced and exercise. The secret is in the motivation. You can always do it. If you are underweight you should exercise and eat whatever you want just also try to make it balanced.

I am here for you. Being healthy is the real wealth as someone once said. Real control. Not starving yourself nor eating everything. Real control: Eat till you are content. And I promise being healthy is worth it. I makes you feel better physically not just mentally.

I am here for you. I wanted someone to tell me that when I was losing weight so I know how it feels. I know it sounds like a crazy dream. But being healthy is actually possible. Text me if you need me. I'm always here. Sorry I've been off for a while but I really needed to pull my poop together.

Links to the BMI calculator: http://bmicalculator.cc/?gclid=CjkKEQjwqsCcBRDt7_Gts5a91YYBEiQAm-wYEY4ZQdDE_ZZ_uVAYVBQvcHrDf0EuiSaIrSJ41GAMa7jw_wcB this is a very nice one

Stay Safe.