Be A Girl

Secrets

Reason #10 why I'm writing this: Secrets destroy.

"None of us are perfect we all come with baggage."

"There's a reason we don't always tell the truth. It comes back to bite us. Hard."

We all have secrets. Secrets we never told and aren't planning to. They hunt us in the day. They attack us at night. And no matter how hard we try to break free of them, they are our constant companion until they are told. They are a guilt we can't confess to and a punishment you keep awaiting.

The more we keep nursing our secret the stronger it gets. We fear them defining us. For if one thing we know about people, it's they are judging. They will judge us by one mistake we do. One mess up, one slip and we're out. But as we keep our mouth shut and mind away. We might be avoiding their judgement, but are we avoiding ours? Are you avoiding yours?

Truth is, lies are always discovered.

Wether now, tomorrow or ten years from now. Someone will find out. I know this is petrifying. It scares the living shit out of me too. And as I write this, I try to calm myself too because even though it is the truth I dont want anyone to find out.

If my mum has ever said anything right, it's that lies don't have legs. It can't go far with it. And those who built their lives on it will soon find all what they've built crumbling down when the lie is discovered.

She told me to face my faults. No matter what. To stay strong and admit to them. Because if the fault is terrible it's secret will be worse. It will be monstrous. And I wish I listened to her. But we never do, do we? It takes so much courage to admit to secrets. Yes, secrets scare us. They hunt us down and burn in our brains. They claw at our heart. Scream at us to speak them. they keep us living in fear inside our own souls. But we keep them knowing that it's this or we are exposed.

We keep it in fear of being abandoned.

You're not a monster. It's not like we were taught when we were children. There's no good and bad people. There is people. Humans. They sin. They feel guilt. They try to make it better. There are humans and that doesnt make them monsters.

We've all done things we regret. We can't change that. Maybe if someone hadn't betrayed you you wouldn't have done it. Maybe if you weren't angry. Maybe if.. but it happened. You can't change that. All you know is that if you knew what you know back then you wouldn't have done it.

And tha's what matters; You learned from it.

One act doesnt define you. You define you. Don't drown in your own guilt and fear. Stand up for who you want to be. We all change. Maybe the you you were did something wrong but the you you are now doesnt have to do it again.

Remember to stay strong. Even strong people break, I know. But you can't break infront of people. Look them straight in the eye and show them you dont fear them. Because you shouln't fear them. Just like you have your secrets, they have theirs.

All I can tell you is, next time something happens, stand up to it. Expose it before someone exposes you. Dont let the secret eat you alive first. Because secrets are kept in closets. And no matter how many locks you put on that closet. Someone will open it. And when someone does..you'll never know what hit you.

It's scary. I know. But you are strong and you can stand up to yourself. Life goes on. No matter how scary it gets sometimes it always gets better afterwards. Stand up for yourself. Be proud of your scars.

I'm here for you if you need me. No one can nurse someone else's secret. But I'm here for you and I will never judge you. Stop bullying yourself for something you've done in the past. You're not a monster.

You're human.