For Me, For You, For Us(Completed)

Conditions

PHIL'S POV

I walk into advanced lit with my head down, my senses numb and yet hyper aware. I don't sit next to Troye anymore. After breaking up with him last week I moved to a row near the back. However, the distance doesn't stop me from looking at him during the whole lecture and wishing things were different.
I'm getting settled into my seat when the professor walks up to the podium, getting their things in order before class starts.
I pull my notebook and a pen out of my bag, trying not to focus on the lack of doodles in the margins; not even drawing seems worth it anymore.
I shift my eyes toward the front of the room, where Troye and I used to sit. He's not here yet and my eyes scan the classroom, trying to see if he's walking in late or not coming to class at all. I don't see any sign of him yet, and I try to ignore the flicker of worry in my chest, reminding myself that people get sick or just choose to sleep in, not everything is a catastrophe.
A flash of movement to my right catches my attention and my heart skips a beat in my chest as I see Dan walk down the hall, he looks better but he's still so damn thin, his sweatshirt hanging off his long frame, the sleeves swallowing his hands, the hood shielding his face. Yet despite everything he has done to try to make himself look invisible, he's all that I can see.
A couple other students look surprised when they see who is underneath the hood, two girls near the middle row have shocked expressions as they turn to whisper to each other.
Dan doesn't even react, he just shifts his shoulders inward, to make himself seem smaller, and proceeds to go sit at a quiet corner in the room, pulling the hood further down his face, and hunching over until you can barely tell who is underneath all that black.
Pretty soon the slight commotion that he caused fades out as the other students proceed to focus on the lecture that the professor is giving, and Dan gets his wish, he fades into the background.
But not for me. I don't think I'm ever going to loose awareness for him. He's all that I can see.

One week later

DAN'S POV

The window is open. Which is making the room fucking freezing. I can't bring myself to close it though. The bite of pain that comes with the cold is the only release I have anymore.
Dr. Izomer has me trapped.
They won't let me cut anymore, it's a condition that I had to agree to in order for them to release me from the hospital, and I signed the agreement, thinking that they would never know what I did because I would never allow myself to go back to that hospital ever again, I didn't expect to have a doctor check my arms and legs the first time I went to group therapy, they weren't happy with what they found. I know she has my best interests at heart but without an outlet to express my pain, I'm completely raw on the inside and if I can't find a way to let go of this pain then I'm going to explode.
Finally I can't take it anymore, I sit up on my bed and walk to the window to close it, trying to ignore the head rush that came with standing up.
The slam of the window echoes in my ears as I look out of it. The wind is fierce tonight, ripping apart anything in its path, leaving the trees and bushing barely hanging on, their roots the only thing stopping them from being consumed by the chaos.