For Me, For You, For Us(Completed)

Shadow

PHIL'S POV

The rain pounds around me as I walk back from class, hiding under my umbrella.
I was right.
I couldn't focus at all today, all the worst possible situations were running through my head; Dan in pain, Dan cutting, Dan killing himself, accidental or otherwise. There's been a couple times throughout the day that I almost broke, that I almost went to see him, the only thing that stopped me from doing just that was the texts from Peej.
I got the first one a couple hours after I heard the news, it was basic, to the point, but also what I needed to hear.

Stopped by the see Dan today, doesn't look good but doesn't look that bad either, kinda out of it but I think it's just the shock. I hope this will be good for him. Anyways thought you would want to know
-Peej

He's sent me a couple more after that, all of them similar, the fact that Peej didn't seem particularly worried was the only thing that kept me in my seat.

The wind whips around me, chilling me to the bone, despite my multiple layers. I bunch my coat even tighter, trying to keep warm as well as maintain ahold of the umbrella so I'll stay relatively dry.
A dark shadow off to my right catches my eye, and despite my first impulse to ignore it I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.
Despite the rational side of my brain that is arguing that this could only mean trouble. I step off the sidewalk, looking both ways before I cross the road. Over to a road more off to the side, where the dark shadow is.
I'm running before I even understand what I'm seeing, my instincts telling me everything I need to know.
When I get to him my first thought is that he's dead, I'm not sure how, maybe hit by a car or suicide. He's laying down in the middle of the road, face up toward the sky. All I can see are his open eyes as they stare out into the night sky, despite the rain pouring down at the same time.
"Oh my god...", I sob, my hand coming up to cover my mouth as the tears form in my eyes.
The sound of my voice must register with him because as soon as I talk his eyes shift over to mine and I'm completely overwhelmed by the amount of pain and suffering in them. I expect him to look away once he notices me here but he doesn't, he just keeps staring at me, as if he's trying to memorize my face.
"Dan?", I say, unsure what I'm asking.
He doesn't say anything or react at all, just continues to stare at me with the expression of a drowning man who has finally found air, but cannot reach it, and has condemned himself to a slow and painful death.
"Dan?", I say again, frozen as lightning flashes in the sky. The light from the strike brightens the space around me, making his beautiful brown eyes shine silver in the night.
It also wake me up enough to realize that I need to get him out of this storm.
I step over him, his beautiful eyes still watching me without fear, untilI reach down and grab his shoulder, pulling my arm under his shoulders so I can hoist him up to walk with me.
I don't know where his mind has gone but it is not a good place as he whips away from me, panic flaring in his eyes as he staggers back on unsteady feet, almost falling over himself.
I hold my hand up in a defensive position.
"Dan it's me".
"Dan it's Phil".
"Phil?", he says, his voice rough from disuse and fear.
I nod, "Yeah it's Phil", I wave my hand in a gesture for him to come toward me, "let's go home".
He stares at me for a couple seconds, seeming caught up in a war between reality and what's going on in his head. I don't say anything, not wanting to push him. Finally he staggers toward me, his gait uneven, he looks exhausted.
I lift my arm up, but don't put it around him, giving him the option to accept my support.
He hesitates for a second, panic flashing in his eyes before he takes a deep breath and tucks himself into my side, wrapping his arm around me shoulders.
His body is freezing against mine and it doesn't take long for my worry to come back, I need to get him home before gets hypothermia again.
I wrap my arm around his waist, trying to give him as much space as possible and yet still support him. His body is tense, but he takes a deep breath and relaxes against me, leaning his head on my shoulder as I stagger forward a couple steps.
He tries to make it easier for me but he is shivering the whole time, his body shaking in great waves from the cold as well as the sobs he's trying to hold in at whatever memories are taking over his mind.
I stop us for a moment, turning around to face him so that he can see it's me.
I cup his face in my hands.
"Dan", I say, staring into his eyes, "I will never hurt you". He clings to my eyes, his body shaking harder then ever as I pull his forehead toward me so that I can place a kiss on it.
He starts shuddering so badly that he has to wrap his arms around me to avoid falling into the pavement.
I wrap my arms around him as well, holding him tight against me and refusing to let go, no matter what happens.