For Me, For You, For Us(Completed)

Never

PHIL'S POV

I manage to get Dan back into the dorm without being seen. It was difficult to say the least, Dan could barely keep himself upright and the rain definitely wasn't helping either.
I push through the door, and make a right. Heading for his room. It takes him a couple seconds to pull his key out from his wallet cause his hands are shaking. I wrap one of his hands in mine as I take the key from his hand and he shivers, closing his eyes as a pained expression crosses his face, he squeezes my hand.
I pull him into his room, instantly chilled by the freezing air, there's no way he will be able to get warm enough in here.
I lead him slowly into the bathroom and as we pass the threshold his face goes white as he stares at the tub. Memories flashing in his eyes.
I stop when we are standing next to it. Giving him the chance to say something. He doesn't. He just stands there. Staring.
I squeeze his hand and tell him "I'll leave you alone now but I'll be right outside the door if you need me okay?", before turning around and starting to walk away.
His hand refuses to let mine go and I jerk to a stop. Looking at his back as he refuses to look at me.
"Will you just... will you just turn around for a minute... but don't leave", he says. Still not looking at me. I nod, even though he can't see me, and when I step forward this time he lets me. I walk forward a few step and then lean against the wall. My back toward him. I can hear as he starts the tub and begins to take his clothes off, to give him some privacy i tell him "I'm gonna go grab some clothes from my room, I'll be back in a minute", before walking out of the room and into the hall. I quickly go to my room and take off my wet clothes, throwing them in the sink I take a second to grab some dry clothes and throw them on before making my way back to his room. I knock on the bathroom door before entering, just to let him know I'm here, before quickly opening the door and standing off to the side so I'm not facing him. I can hear him getting settled for a few seconds.
"Okay... you can come over now...", he says, his voice strangely shy.
I turn around. Keeping my eyes off him as I go and settle myself on the floor near the end of the tub. From this point I can only see his face and the tops of his shoulders, shockingly thin amongst his tan skin.
He still won't meet my eyes. Instead he's looking down into the water, perhaps looking for answers to appear out of nothing, and fix the mess his life has become.

"He didn't want me there", he says out of the blue. I shift my eyes up, not surprised to find that he still isn't looking at me. I don't say anything.
"I don't even know why I care", he says sounding broken, "he didn't care", he whispers his voice breaking at the end.
"And now he's gone", he says in a flat voice, his eyes finally lifting to meet mine.
"But he's not, not really", he growls, "he's here, he's always here!", he shouts at the end, cupping his head in his hands as he digs his fingers into his hair.
"He won't leave...", he whispers, curling into himself.
I get up and move closer to him slowly, sitting next to the side of the tub I take a risk and slowly bring up hand up to touch his arm.
He flinched, water splashing as he looks at me with frightened eyes. I still my hand, keeping it raised so that he can make the choice. After a couple seconds he starts to relax and turns so that he can lean his body against my hand.
The skin underneath my hand is cold, but starting to warm from the hot water, though he is shivering even worse now.
He lowers his head, his eyes closed as he tries to relax.
"Thank you".

DAN'S POV

Today has been absolute hell to say the least. I don't even remember leaving the dorm, I don't remember choosing to lay in the road, hell I barely remembered the walk back. But I know that I'm going to be able to remember this moment right now for the rest of my life.
The past is warring with the present in my mind right now. My thoughts of what I want versus what I've been told I can't have.
I shiver again at the feel of Phil's hand on my shoulder. I'm naked now in a way I've never been with anyone else before.
We stay in that position a few minutes as I get comfortable and eventually the water starts to turn lukewarm.
The removal of Phil's hand from my skin makes me shiver as he walks out the door and into my room, I can hear him opening the dresser and grabbing a pair of clothes. He walks back over and hands them to me before facing the other way. I get out of the tub on shaky feet, the cold air instantly making my skin prickle. I grab a towel that is hung up next to me before drying my body and dressing in the sweatshirt and sweats he brought me.

After I'm dressed I just stand there. Unsure of what to do. He seems to sense my hesitation and stays silent as he waits for me to make a move.
I know what I want and I don't know what's holding me back anymore. My dad is dead but the ghost of him in my head still haunts me.

"You fucking faggot", he growls as he slaps me across the face. "How could you do this to this family! People are talking about you! About us!", he yells...
"Daddy", I say as I walk into his room. I was five and had just had a really bad nightmare and wanted comfort. "Daddy I'm scared", I said when I saw him. "Get the fuck out of here, I'm not your whore mother so don't come to me like I am", says without looking at me as he continues to do work at his desk.

"Look how about I just go okay, just text me if you need anything", I'm jolted back to the present as Phil turns around to leave. My initial instinct is to not say anything, to let him leave, to let everyone leave. But... I can't be alone right now, I don't know what I might do to myself if I was and... I don't want him to go.
"No... please... please stay?", I choke out. He stops, seeming shocked for a second before nodding his head slowly and waiting by the door for me to choose what to do.
I've stood here for long enough.
I make my way slowly out the room, stopping a little at the sight of the bed, as bad memories explode in my head, I shut them down, refusing to give them power in this space.
I turn off the lights, giving myself a second to relax I start to make my way over to the bed. I can feel Phil watching me, unsure what to do. I should probably say something but I just can't form the right words to express what I'm feeling right now.
I pull back the covers from both sides of the bed before going to my preferred side and getting under the covers. I can feel Phil's uncertainty in the air. He's not going to do anything unless I say something.
"Please", I whisper. It's all I can manage.
He seems to collect himself before walking over to the other side of the bed and getting under the covers himself. We are pretty far apart on the bed not touching yet barely inches apart. I turn on my side to face him.
Needing to see him.
Needing to remind myself he's here.
He stares at me back, unashamed, curiosity in his eyes.
I shuffle a bit closer to him, reaching my hand through the covers until I find his.
He grips it tight and brings our combined hands up to his mouth to kiss them.
The sentiment makes my eyes burn so I look away, desperate not to lose it again.
"I'm sorry", he says.
I squeeze my eyes tighter, not able to process the amount of sincerity in his voice.
"Come here", he says, "please", he whispers.
I open my eyes and shuffle closer to him so I can tuck myself into his side. I let out a shaky breath as I try to relax. His hand rubs my back in a soothing motion as he looks into my eyes.
"Phil", I say.
"Dan", he says.
"Please don't leave", I whisper in a choked voice.
He looks into my eyes for a long second before slowly bring his mouth to mine for a loving kiss.
"Never"

THE END