Falling From The Floor

Yes or No? 😳

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW

I just continued crying because I felt the pressure. The pressure of putting my life in a position to be changed for forever. "Please, baby girl." He said as tears started to dwell up in his eyes. So many thoughts were going on in my head at this moment and I really didn't know what to do. "I can't say right now." I told him. He then stood up and put the ring back into his pocket. He was silent. "I understand. You just want to do what's best for your children." He then said. "You're right." I told him.
Shemar just put both of his hands into his pockets and looked away from me. "I'm.....gonna go back downstairs." I told him. He nodded his head.

As I walked back down the stairs, so many thoughts were going through my head. I know that Shemar would do anything possible to help Cai understand this but Cai loves her Father. Her going through this change would be something very hurtful for her. She didn't talk to Tony and I for a week because she heard us cursing and arguing in front of her. Imagine what would happen if she found out that Tony and I got a divorce. All I care about is her feelings and how she would be. Damn my feelings because my child's feelings always come before mines.

"Hey, Mommy." Cai said as she looked back at me from the kitchen table. "Hey, baby." I said as I smiled at her. I was trying hard not to show that I was numb about so much stuff right now. "Hi, Auntie Peps." Bre said as she smiled at me. "Hey, Bre." I said as I smiled at her as well. "Where's Shemar?" Cai asked me. "Uhm, he's upstairs. He'll be down soon." I told her as I then went over towards the counter next to Inaya. Inaya gave me a look. "What?" I asked her. "You two were up there for a little while..." she said as she tried to hide her smile. "Yeah..." I said as I looked away. "Uhmm hmmm." Inaya said. I then pulled her into the next room. "What is it?" She asked me. "He asked me to marry him." I told her. Inaya's mouth dropped. "What?!" She said as she looked at me. "Yes!" I told her. "But you're already married. Cheryl, what is going on here?" She asked me. "I don't know and that's why I told him that I couldn't answer that question." I told her. "Do you love him?" She asked me. I bit my lip and thought about it for a while. "Yes but...I'm scared." I told her. "Scared of what?" She asked me as she folded her arms and gave me a look. "Telling Tony and explaining to my baby that her Daddy and I are no longer together anymore. I feel so confused right now. First, I've been unfaithful to my husband and now I just got a proposal." I said as I played with my hands. "You already know what Tony's gonna think of this. He's gonna think that you're trying to get back at him for cheating on you." Inaya explained. "Oh my, really? I know this, Inaya. It's not. I've loved Shemar for a long time now and even before Tony and I got married." I told her. "Well, how about this? Do what your heart tells you to do. What would make you happy? Cai can always understand and Ciyle won't even know what's going on." Inaya told me. I then put my hand on my head and looked away. "I don't know what my heart is telling me. I wish that Shemar would have just kept his feelings to himself but...either way it goes, I'm hooked." I told Inaya in a confused voice. "Just think about it and tell Tony, Okay?" Inaya told me. "Okay. I guess." I told her. "Alright, I'm gonna go and oh yeah- Cai wants to spend the night. Is that alright?" She asked me. "Of course." I said as we walked back into the kitchen.

          INAYA AND THE GIRLS LEFT

Shemar finally came back downstairs. Apart of me feels like he was up there crying but he didn't want to do it in front of me. Shemar was about to leave out the door but I stopped him. "Shemar..." I said as I looked at him. He stopped walking and looked over at me. "Yeah?" He asked me. "I hope that you're not upset with me..." I told him. He shook his head. "No, I'm not. I understand." He told me. He then walked over towards me. "I shouldn't have interfered. I'm the reason as to why you're confused on what you want to do. I just want you to know that I love you and that if you say yes or no....I'll still love you. If you still love Tony- I'm fine with that. It's gonna hurt to get over you but either way, I want you to be happy. Your happiness and your children's happiness is what matters to me. I just want to bring you happiness and all these years I've seen him make you unhappy. He's probably gotten better but...still." He told me. I nodded my head and looked down. "He has gotten better but things still aren't the way that I want them to be between us. When I'm with you I feel happier, I don't know." I told him. "You do know. You're just not listening to your heart." He said as he looked at me. "I know that I love you. I know that much..." I told him as I looked up at him. "I love you more." He said as he grabbed one of my hands and looked down at our hands while they were connected. It was then silent between us because we were both stuff in what we should do. Confused.
"I should go..." Shemar told me. I nodded my head. He then kissed my cheek and let go of my hand. He started walking away but he turned back around to give me a hug. He hugged me tight as if he was never gonna see me ever again. He then let me go and walked towards the door. He left. I was just stuck there looking at the door and wondering what I should do. I then turned around and started putting things away on the counter. I saw that he left the little box on the counter. I opened it up and saw the ring in there. I then went upstairs to put it away. I sat on the edge of the bed and just thought to myself about what I wanted to do.

I made up my mind. I know what I want to do...

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