Chasing Ghosts [Attack on Titan](Wattys 2014 Winner)

Chapter forty two- Don't lose your wings.

Chapter forty two

“I'm sorry what?” I asked,  staring at him in confusion. I wasn't exactly sure I'd heard him right, Qwills indigo eyes glared into mind intensely. “You heard me, I know its sudden but we grew up together. Surely you can understand why I'm asking you this.” He said. I continued to stare, Qwill was everything I wanted in a man…. But… it was much too sudden for me. I didn't want to get married, I wasn't ready for it. I was still much too young, and I just wanted to help my Corp at the moment. I stared at him, still quite baffled. “I'll…. Have to think about it.” I stuttered. He nodded “I understand, I'll come back in two days for your answered.” He smiled at ruffled my hair then mounted his white horse and vanished down the path towards the capital. I heard a shifting of the rocks and boots nearing me as I watched the white speck vanished into the sun-set. Levi was beside me, he folded his arms watching the boy disappear. I wondered if he'd heard the conversation. “Are you going to agree?” He asked, yup. Ease dropper… I thought staring at him as the sunlight painted his face in yellow and gold. I shrugged “I dunno, I mean. I'm not sure I'm ready but on the other hand he is everything I want in a partner. This might be my only opportunity to get a husband… not that I want one. I don’t really want to die alone though.” I said rubbing my chin in thought. He continued to gaze out into the golden and yellow sunset that painted the world in its brilliant light.

He looked at me “You have a lot of thinking to do, if you accept it could change your life forever.” He said turning away from me going to the door. He stopped in the door frame holding the handle on the wooden door. He didn't look at me, but he said quietly. “Remember who you might hurt if you accept, and remember who you'll hurt if you don’t.” I blinked watching the young boy vanish though the door and it shut with a clank. I sighed, I wondered what he meant. Would Erwin be mad at me if I accepted…? I'd always thought we were just a ‘brother-sister’ relationship. I grumbled quietly and went inside, I stomped down the steps towards the mess hall in frustration. I was tired of this drama, I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do. I really did like Qwill, a lot. He was a lovely person, rich and full with prosperities. My life in the capital would be peaceful and easy, not like living out here. Out here we fought for our survival, for the wings that we bore on our backs. I sat down in the silent dining hall, gazing out into the window I'd looked into many times before. The sun was gone, so the world was bleak. It was that time of day were the sky was a dark violet and all the builds and trees where dark so you couldn't see what the shapes really looked like. A unsurety  of the world almost, the light couldn't pick out what was right and what was wrong. Much like me.

I sighed quietly, I loved my wings and this ‘family’ but I wanted something more. I wanted to settle down, I knew I would have to eventually. I would grow old and be unable to move as well, if I lived that long at all. I'd spent eleven years with this group, perhaps that was enough. Perhaps it was time to move on…. To spread my wings and fly to a land where I couldn't be hurt. Somewhere safe, somewhere warm. I closed my eyes leaning my head on the table and my folded arms. The silence of the room was peaceful and I felt myself drifting off.

I awoke in a cloud, high above the ground. I was looking down into the walls, three of them. Little specks of what I believed where people, they raced around below me as I drifted across the sky nestled into a fluffy white cloud. I crawled to the edge of the floating white pillow, feeling my hand slip though the thin water-like surface. I plummeted down towards the ground, I was at completely peace for some strange reason. I felt like nothing could hurt me as I fell to my death. I suddenly stopped falling and I looked back behind me. I had two beautiful wings, one was a navy blue and the other pearly white. I had no control over them, the wings soared towards the center of the wall as I flew past flocks of birds with my hands outstretched. I giggled, I loved this feeling. The breeze whipping my hair back and around me, the sound of the velvet feathers rubbing against each other with each wing flap. I soared into wall Sina the wings brought me to a stop landing in the center of the town, no one seemed to notice that a winged woman had just landed in the cobble stone roads. As my feet hit the ground, the wings vanished. I blinked in surprise, looking around for the beautiful pair of appendages. They flapped off on their own and I watched in surprise as they landed behind someone else.

A young man with soft ebony hair, and large steel eyes. They curled around him as to protect, and serve. I looked ahead of me, Another young man with black hair and indigo eyes. His hands outstretched towards me, behind him was a large beautiful house. Painted in white, marble columns held it up and a set of white dogs lay in the beautiful green yard. I took a step towards the house and the man, but I heard the sound of the wings behind me. The steel-eyed boy was closer, he had his left hand out stretched towards me. “Don’t lose your wings.” He whispered… then it became very foggy and dark.

I awoke, my eyes opened very slowly. I was in my bed, still dressed. The fluffy white covers must have been the clouds, who'd moved me though… I shook my head and sat up. “Don’t lose your wings…” I said quietly to myself folding my arms in my lap as I sat there. The moon was still high in the sky, I'd only been asleep for a little while, I believed. I nonchalantly touched my shoulder blades, where the wings had been. Wanting to feel there velvet surface and strong bones, but only my warm skin answered my fingers.  I didn't want to lose my wings, I loved them. I also didn't want to lose the one guy that I respected more than any old medal…