Chasing Ghosts [Attack on Titan](Wattys 2014 Winner)

Chapter sixteen- For your sake

Chapter sixteen

I removed my hand from the doorknob at the voice,  looking back at Tamaki wondering what I should do. He blinked moving in front of me and opening the door to the pouring rain, it splattered the roads in silver and before me stood a slightly breathless, slightly scared. Erwin. I recoiled and moved in front of Tamaki “Erwin!? Did something happen?” I demanded, he looked scared. Rarely did I ever see our composed commander with fear on his face. He gasped when he saw me, unable to find words “Your horse came back without a rider, I could only assume the worst…” He said panting and leaning against the door frame staring me in the face with his blue eyes. I frowned, raising an eyebrow as he spotted the ‘Military corp’ marking on my shoulder. “Tamaki here decided it was a good idea to kidnap me and bring me here.” I half joked.

The commander straightened himself up and shoved his blond hair out of his eyes “Apologies Captain.” He said formally then left, mounting his horse I opened my mouth to ask if I could get a ride back by the cold glare I got from Tamaki made me second guess myself. I looked up at the brown haired man as he watched the commander vanish from sight into the pouring rain. “I can get one of the carriages to take you back.” He said, suddenly stiff. I frowned “What’s with the change in attitude?” I demanded. His stern glare was instantly replaced with a smile “Its nothing, I'll see you around ok?” He called me one of the green-canopied horse pulled carriages then vanished inside as I entered the vehicle.

We were off out the gate, I leaned my head against the wooden frame and felt myself slipping off at the rhythmic clopping of the horses hooves on the ground.

~~

I awoke some time later at the sound of the carriage drivers voice “We're here miss.” I stretched and shook my head, it was hard outside and the clap of distant thunder pulled me out of my hazy dream-ridden state. I exited the carriage and thanked the driver, vanishing inside. I sighed shaking the dew-drops out of my hair as another clap of thunder caused me to jump. I swore quietly “Sheesh…” I muttered as a flash of lightening made the inside of the stone building turn a brilliant white. I peered out the window into the darkness for a minute looking at the distant wall. I turned again and Erwin was there, he was still completely dripping wet. A pathetic smile on his boney face. “You’re an idiot.” I scolded. “You'll catch a cold.” He chuckled softly “When a captains horse returns without her rider one can’t help but worry.” He defended himself. I sighed inwardly “You know me, I can take good care of myself.” I smacked his chest playfully.

The commander and I did have a strange relationship, I felt like he was a younger brother… that was older than me. He was always there, and visa-versa. I loved this guy, but not in the romantic way. “Go change.” I commanded. He raised his hands as I shoved him towards the stairs “If you get sick we're all screwed.” I said, continuing to wring out the water from my  hair as he grinned at me. “I could say the same for you.” I laughed quietly “No you couldn't, now go before I drag you up the stairs by your ear.” He shook his head and laughed then went up the steps. I listened to the sound of his rubber boots on the wood until they vanished into a room. I turned to remove my jacket a little smile still on my lips, to my surprise there stood Levi.

Before I could say anything he grabbed my half removed jacket from my shoulder looking at the patch over the heart, a glare on his stone face. “You let this retched thing touch you?” He demanded coldly. I snatched the jacket back. “Excuse you, its my… friends.”  I wasn't really sure what Tamaki was to me, yet anyway. The trainee looked at me with a puzzled expression for a moment then it came to him. “Oh, you mean that stupid brown haired buffoon. I didn't know you liked him that much.” He sneered. I curled my lip back slightly over my teeth in hate. “You’re a disgusting human being you know that Levi, its my business and you should stay out of it.” I snarled at him like a wild dog. He recoiled slightly “Why do you hate the Military corp so much?” I demanded.

He lifted his hand as though I was going to attack him, suddenly he became very child-like to me. Cowering away like someone was about to beat him… It came to me, of course… I stopped and looked at the cowering boy. “I didn't realize.” He looked at me from under his arm, not sure what I meant for a moment. “N-No, I-”He began but he stopped. Something had happened to this boy when he was younger,   I wasn't sure what yet but by the way he huddled away from me there was something there. I was not about to go and dig up old memories. I hung up the jacket “Not everyone in that group is bad you know.” I said quietly. He let his arm hang limply at his side and I let him standing there. I returned to my room.

I pulled the old book from my desk and played with the petals of the dead rose staring out into the gray horizon as lightening flashed white in the evil looking clouds. I didn't feel like getting any supper today, I wasn't in the mood to socialize with anyone. My guilt was starting to bubble up, under all that gruff exterior Levi had on. There was a sad little boy, I didn't want to think about it. I closed my eyes and put my arms over my head letting out a muffled and frustrated groan into the fabric of my white shirt. He was still an Asshole… but.

I had a new resolution, instead of fixing his attitude. I'd fix him, perhaps there was a way to mend the broken pieces of the very complex puzzle that was Levi. I'd start with relationships, he'd need to form a bond with someone in this group. Aside from myself, Petra perhaps..? She was kind hearted and strong-willed. Hanji maybe…? She was shy and kind to but I could feel there was a different side to her and that she just needed more time to let it out. I played with my scarlet hair for a while, he seemed to have no interest in making male friends. Guther, Oluo or Eld perhaps? No… He still seemed to hate every one and making friends with him would be a problem.

I groaned again, gritting my teeth quietly. I had a stubbornness like an ox that was one thing that people often told me. So I'd do this, if not for his sake. For mine.