Chasing Blue

#4: The Party Catastrophe.

We aren't born for ourselves alone. You have to take care of other people.
-Kass Morgan

. . .

Present

Isabella

I need to get home. I need to find Austin and I need him to ride me home.

I push my few hair strands behind my ear into the braid with trembling hands as I blink almost twenty times in a row. I feel a barrier in my throat preventing me from taking a gulp. I move around the house to find Austin. I can hear myself breathing heavily, louder than the music playing. 

I see him near the glass door. I rush to him as I push away all the people interrupting me. I'm about to call his name but my feet stop moving when I see him kissing another girl.

I close my eyes shut. This is the normal Austin and this is his normal behavior. I gulp as I keep affirming to myself how normal this is. Austin Cooper has always been this way. He has always hooked up with girls at parties. Girls are the sole reason he attends them. 

I try affirming this again and again inside my head. Not really sure what the point of it is. 

I feel two arrows fly my way and pierce through my heart. I feel hurt, I feel disgusted although there was nothing between him and me. I feel myself breaking a little because the moment we shared two minutes ago definitely hinted me something. But now I know it was just the rush of alcohol. He was buzzed and I might have lushed for a minute or two. I hate that the sight of him kissing another girl makes me want to cry. 

The no-men phase looks so attractive now, that I almost want to cocoon back inside. 

If you are being told by every other person, that you like something and you should like it no matter what, then eventually you do start liking it. That is exactly what happened to my mind. This is exactly how I phased into this unknown territory with Austin Cooper. 

I don't have time to think about all this.

So I rush back towards the door when a hand pulls me back. I turn around to see Jason's worried eyes trying to read me.

"J-Jason--I need a ride home," I say panicking as a tear just flows down my face.

I'm pulled back to the memories of that black car, amidst an empty parking lot. The rain dripping down the clouds and the suffocation I felt inside the car. I couldn't breathe. I needed air. 

"Okay, Bella. Just calm down and tell me what happened." Jason said resting his glass on the wooden stand beside us and holding my shoulder in both his hands. He holds my face in his hands and he makes me look at him. "You need to tell me what happened." 

"Grace called. Noah broke in. I heard her scream and run and--" I can't complete my sentence and I begin to sway. Jason's hold on me tightens. 

"Are you sure you heard it right?" He bends down to level my face with his and I vigorously nod, afraid to move an inch. "You just had five shots of tequila. Are you sure you're not--"

"We don't have time. We need to go. I know what I heard." I almost yell trying to make him understand. 

"Okay, okay, let's go, come on." He says checking his pockets for his phone and wallet and car keys. 

I hold my phone in my hand and I grip it as hard as I can as Jason walks toward the door and pulls my hand behind him. I try to focus on the floor, watching my step align with his because too many people are walking in and out. My head is blurring my vision. I don't know if it's the alcohol or the tears.