Chasing Blue

#7: Mint Shake.

He tasted like joy, and joy tasted better on Earth.
- Kass Morgan

. . .

Isabella

Present

Hyper-independence is a result of trauma. Not needing anyone and having trust issues only means the latter, my ability to have to trust someone is so deeply injured that I can't get myself to do it again. 

I wonder if proximity issues are also a result of trauma. Yes, they absolutely are. But what one doesn't know is how heartbreaking it is to not be able to reciprocate that kind of love because it is self-deprecating and a bad hit to self-confidence and it questions your ability to love ever again. 

Dad is off dropping mum, Grace, and Mia to the airport. He said he'd go directly to work after that. That only means I have the house to myself for a few days before security foists claim and my mother imposes more rules. 

And because it's a tradition that I do not sleep alone, my recycle bin is here crashing over at my place. 

I swing the door shut and turn around the locks before glancing at the empty driveway. We had pancakes and orange juice for breakfast. May's choice of making an apparent combination is termed chef's kiss. I walk towards the messy living room and decide to add it to my today's to-do list to clean the house. 

It reeks of trauma and chaos. 

I start by picking up the haphazardly thrown pillows from all different corners of the living room. The couches are moved, the coffee table is not straight, and the blankets on the couch just make everything look like me, careless. I wonder how May walked through this mess for her date with Ethan. I'm pretty sure she made a mental side note to begin cleaning as soon as she comes back.

May has been dating Ethan for a while now. Not that we've asked her to introduce us to him but she doesn't think they've reached that stage yet. I, as a best friend, must feel offended by that statement. But in turn, I completely understand what she means and I respect it by giving her all the time she needs to set things right. 

She knows what she's doing. She always knows what to do. She's the female Austin Cooper. 

"Has Maya Sen's soul possessed you?" I heard Lee's voice from the kitchen door that opens up to the garden where the guys were cleaning the pool. 

They woke up today and decided that summer won't feel like summer if we don't suntan and swim for at least 28/30 days in the month. I know they're too damn lazy to swim 28/30 days but that doesn't stop me from stopping them to clean the pool. The new security team will look after the cleaning once they settle in, but until then, in-house security is all I have.

I giggle, not turning around. I arrange the pillows on the couch and straighten the coffee table. I try pushing the couch to its former alignment but it doesn't budge. I give up trying. 

"I hate cleaning, how does she even do it?" I complain holding my waists and wiping the sweat drops from the side of my head. 

I hear Liam laugh more. I turn to him and I watch him sipping orange juice freshly taken out of the fridge. What I don't realize is that Liam Davis is drinking orange juice in my kitchen, shirtless. 

Another reason why I do not like summer. Men not only walk around brainless, but they also walk around shirtless. 

"Put on a shirt or someone will assume I bullied you, again," I say not meeting his eyes but also trying to sound very confident. 

Two years ago, when Liam had lesser brain cells and I was candid mean, I tricked him into a coin toss bet with simple rules, "heads I win, tails you lose" and the idiot actually, blindly got played. When he lost ten times in a row, I made him remove his shirt and run 5 rounds around the field screaming "Queen Bella" at the top of his lungs. When May made him understand where it all went wrong, he chased me for three blocks straight with his baseball bat.