Chasing Blue

Kickass & Kind.

s o m e t i m e — 4 years ago

Austin

"What kind of an idiot makes us run thirteen rounds as a warm-up?" Jacob was panting beside me.

I watched his poor soul cripple and pause every two meters before we made our way to the gym. Running was one of the reasons why this pathetic loser hated sports, and that was probably my favorite reason to love the training. I could run as fast as my thoughts. For once, I felt I could catch up to my thoughts and compel them to listen to me.

"The kind of an idiot who is going to make me captain of the team." I retorted, not pausing behind him this time.

"Austin, you stink like a pig. How can you like it?" Jake ran behind me, catching up.

"It's not stinking, it's the smell of success. Or pre-success." I smirked as I held both my shoes with their laces in my hands.

My legs do hurt after being smothered into a thirteen-round run inside hard spikes. I couldn't possibly walk in it anymore. Jacob did the same, except he nagged about the socks and the bruises on his feet.

"When we dreamed we'd be high school sweethearts, I didn't expect the process to be so hard," These days he whined at almost everything.

"I hope you know I'm doing this for you," I gave him a stern look.

"But you are so good at it, Aust. And clearly, I am not."

"You will be, after practice. Do not give up on this now."

We neared the Volleyball field and my eyes caught a fierce red pony that looked redder under the sun. She was wearing a full-armed black shirt that hugged her body. Her black shorts barely ended in the middle of her thighs. A headband separated her red hair from her face. The sweat was making her skin glow. And the mere sight of her made my heart ache with happiness. 

She walked to the end of the court and focused on the net. Her eyes not drifting anywhere else. It seemed like she was lost from this world like she was someone else entirely. I see her toss the ball to the girl near the net (the passer) who lifted the ball higher.

Her ponytail swung as she took two steps to catch the drive and then she hoisted up. My mouth lay open when she smashed the ball onto the other side of the net with such force, I feared the ball would just puncture open.

She hastily caught herself as she landed on the ground but her eyes were fixated on the ball. The ball went smashing into the face of a girl who stood on the other side. So much for standing in defense. The speed of the ball was so strong, the girl it hit fell on her back holding her face.

"Shit, that was so badass," Jacob laughed loudly as he clapped his hand to cheer her.

Many of the girls in the team looked at us but Isabella was focused on the girl who had fallen. From what little of her face I could see, worry spread across her face more than joy. She dipped under the net and ran towards the fallen girl, aiding her face and continuously apologizing.

"No, she's kind," I whispered but Jacob was already making his way toward her.

Something coiled in my stomach. I kept staring at her as she searched screaming 'first aid' at the top of her lungs. Something about her seemed so captivating, that I couldn't look away. There's always something about her that grabs my attention. Her feelings are infectious. Her actions are infectious. The crowd that cheered her for the smash was now panicking and rushing to help — reflecting everything she was doing and saying. 

The way she aided that girl made me realize one thing. She cares too much, about anyone, about everyone. And there should be someone to care about her, to take care of her while she takes care of everyone else.

Her eyes met mine and I think she said something in my direction but I didn't budge. I was awe-struck by the urgency on her face. The need to make things right. The need to repair and erase her guilt. I think it was about time I lost my heart to her. She doesn't know anything about me except my name, and I want to know everything about her.

"That's my cue to never get on your bad side," Jacob muttered to her. I shifted my gaze to my best friend approaching her, completely unaffected by the severity of her emotions.

I didn't expect the pain I felt in my chest when she slowly moved her gaze from me to Jacob. To my surprise, she laughs, shaking her head and brushing off the words he said to ease her out. She gulped, looked down, and ran a hand over her high ponytail. 

She blushed.

There, in that one split second when I realized I liked her, I knew I had to give her up. She liked him and more importantly, he liked her. I would never knowingly do that to Jacob. He's my best friend and I always want the best for him. 

And she is the best. 

As he walked closer to her, I took a step away from both of them. Regardless of how much my heart burned, I put distance between us. She glanced at me one more time. That was enough to stir my mind and forget everything about giving her up. I knew that if I waited even for another second, I'd start fighting for her. So before I ended up doing something outwardly unethical, I turn around and force myself to walk away.

From her and my racing thoughts about her. 

I don't glance at her until I reach the gym and she is a mere blurry spec. I was certain that she couldn't see me so I decided to watch her from here. It can't get any worse than it already has. I escalated to stage ten of unrequited love in mere seconds, so looking at her can't hurt. It'll only heal.   

The girl who sucked at defense was holding an ice pack to her face and was grinning at both Isabella and Jacob who kneeled beside her. They were all laughing. Despite the wrecking of my heart, I knew Jacob made her happy. And frankly, that's all I ever wanted her to be.

I see her laugh, and even from afar, I can make out how her eyes scrunch because of her big smile. Her cheeks were glowing with a pink tint. She has cinnamon-colored eyes that turn red under the sun, matching her auburn hair. In a world filled with extravagant vibrance, she was simple and ordinary. Something so obviously beautiful. 

I'm surprised I'm smiling by the time I turn my back to her. I know the pain I feel is worth it all. 

She is worth it all. 

"Izz," it rolled out of my lips as I sigh with my unending smile. 

That's who she is to me. A vanilla girl just living her life unbothered by the world. A kickass sports player wrapped in kindness. Unfiltered, undefined, and unaware of an unrequited love that I won't unveil. Ever.

Izz

A secret I'll take to my grave. 

. . .

[edited]