I Won't Give Up (A Big Time Rush Fanfiction)

Halloween part 2

This chapter isn't too eventful, because it's a continuation of the last chapter and it just answers some questions that weren't answered there (for example, why Jo ran off after she and Kendall kissed). The next chapter will be more interesting, because Jo gets those tests done and she finally talks to Kendall, and plus Logan will also confront his relationship with McKinley!

xoxoxo, Brooke

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“Baby....”

My eyes fluttered open and once I’d focused my vision, I looked over at Mom, who was holding my hand and rubbing it with her thumbs. I blinked as she kissed the back of my hand, taking a deep breath and wondering why I felt so exhausted. But then I realized that it was still Halloween and that I had gotten an infection. Wow. That’s fan-freaking-tastic. 

I felt better than I did when I first was brought in, but definitely not great. I just felt tired and drained of my energy, and I felt disappointed that I couldn’t go back out there and enjoy the party that we’d all worked so hard to plan out. After more than a month spent on this thing, it downright sucked that I couldn’t enjoy it.

“They were able to bring your fever down a bit, but you’re still pretty sick.” Mom whispered. 

Wow, way to state the obvious.

At least she had the courtesy to wear a medical mask, so I wouldn’t get any sicker than I already was.

And now I felt like a terrible person. Greeeeaaaat.

“Some of your friends stopped by the house earlier. They wanted to know how you’re doing.” She stroked my cheek, while I raised my eyebrows at her. My friends? They went to my house? My friends from school who stopped talking to me after I got sick, they were visiting my house now? How could they even do that? If they wanted to be supportive, they would come visit me in the hospital.

“Awesome.” I turned onto my side, my back facing her.

“They said they might come see you sometime.”

I could only scoff at that one. Somehow, I highly doubted that any of them cared enough to set foot in this place. They abandoned me when I needed them the most, so why should I be open to them visiting now?

“James, please. Talk to me...”

“I ruined Jade’s night. She probably imagined having this awesome night out and I ruined it.” I wasn’t being dramatic either. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I had ruined what could have been a perfectly good night. I knew what everyone would say. No, James, you didn’t ruin my night at all! They were delusional if they believed that.

“Baby...” She whispered, rubbing my shoulder. “You didn’t ruin her night.”

“Yeah, I did.” I murmured, coughing. 

“James, listen to me. You couldn’t help this, okay? You couldn’t help that you got cancer and you can’t help that you got an infection.” 

I wanted to believe that, I really did, but I’d had this night planned out for over a month. Plus, it would’ve been just fine if I hadn’t been going to the lobby so soon after chemo. If I had just rested in the safety of my room, I would have been okay. So I didn’t want Mom telling me that it wasn’t my fault, because it was.

“Come on, smile.” She stroked my cheek. I couldn’t really stand to see her looking so saddened, so I forced a tiny grin onto my face. I was still feeling far from happy, but the least I could do was pretend, right?