I Won't Give Up (A Big Time Rush Fanfiction)

Positives and Negatives

The chapter after this one is going to be the Halloween dance! :) xoxoxo, Brooke

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Carlos didn’t seem quite as happy as expected when his mom was signing him out. Meanwhile, I was sitting in a wheelchair inside my room with my medical mask and my hoodie covering my hair, or lack of it, for better words. Another chemo session had come and gone, and here I was, not even able to go out there and say goodbye to a friend.

Wait, what was he saying to his mom?

Okay, he was coming in.

“Hey, buddy...so, um, I’m about to...well, leave.”  He patted my shoulder and while I wanted to reply, I just couldn’t find the strength to do it. So I gave him a soft smile and let him give my hand a squeeze, taking in a deep breath. I didn’t expect anything more than a handshake or a pat on the shoulder, but of course Carlos had a knack for doing the unexpected. He reached out then and wrapped his arms around me, not that I minded.

“Take care of yourself, okay? I’m coming to visit tomorrow.”

I nodded, allowing my frail arms to wrap around him. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen now that Kendall would no longer have a roommate. I remembered what Carlos said about wanting to protect Kendall and now that he wouldn’t be spending his nights here, I just wondered what would happen to Kendall without someone protecting him from himself.

“Bye, James.” Carlos whispered, turning to leave. When he left, Jade emerged, holding a box. Should I have been scared? Because I was actually feeling scared right now.

“Th-there aren’t explosives in there, r-right?”

“No, weirdo.” She sat the box down and I felt her hands on me, lifting me from the wheelchair. If I was confused before, I was absolutely baffled now. “Now, think you can walk to the restroom?”

“S-sure, but--” Even after I insisted on that, she still kept her arm around me all the way until we arrived in front of the bathroom mirror. I gasped for a breath, clinging onto the sink for support. That girl was crazy for making me walk all the way in the here, so I sure hoped she had a good reason for it.

“So, I may have gotten you a little present for..um, this.” She rubbed my head and my first instinct was to glare at her, since the last thing I wanted to hear about was my hair loss. My hair had been one of my best features, along with my smile and the biceps, and when I lost it to chemo, it was emotionally disturbing.

“I swear, if it’s a pink bandana or a headband--”

“Look, your mom showed me some pictures recently of you before...well, all of this, and I started looking around. I went to this place that provides wigs and hairpieces to cancer patients, for both men and women, and I found this.” She reached into the box and took out something that looked like...a wig? “It looks pretty much exactly like your old hair and I thought you might want to wear it, so you don’t feel...bad.”

“This...it’s...”

“Put it on and you’ll see.” 

I carefully slipped it on and Jade had to stand on tip toes to help me adjust it, then I looked back at my reflection and a tiny gasp escaped my lips. I almost looked like me again. The differences between this and my old self were still evident, but for the first time in forever, it didn’t look quite so obvious.

“Jade...”

“Perfect.” Jade said, letting her hand brush against my bicep. I shivered under her touch, swallowing. My throat was beginning to ache now, so I grabbed a plastic cup and poured myself a glass of water. The cool hit my throat and relieved it soon enough, then I turned to face the blue haired girl standing there.