I Won't Give Up (A Big Time Rush Fanfiction)

Bad News

Well, here's the first chapter! It's my first on the site and I really hope you all like it! xoxo, Brooke.

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No one ever expects to get cancer. It’s one of those things that just hits you like a ton of bricks, when you least expect it. One minute, you’re preparing for your junior/senior prom and the next minute, you’re sitting in a hospital waiting room waiting for your doctor to invite you and your mom into her office

I can unfortunately relate.

I’m James Diamond and I was diagnosed with Leukemia ten months ago and needless to say, life has been going downhill ever since. Most days, I barely even have strength to get out of bed, and on the rare occasion that I actually do something, I get sympathetic looks from everyone and it embarrasses the hell outta me. Yeah, not fun at all

When Dr. Rivers called and said that she needed to speak with us, I didn’t think too much about it. After all, this is the story of my life. Frequent hospital visits, you know? Then Mom and I actually found ourselves sitting in the waiting room and now I actually feel sort of terrified. What if she says that I’m not responding to my treatments? That I’m going to die?  I always try to tell myself that everything will be okay, but sometimes I second guess myself

“You feeling okay, baby?” Mom asked, taking my hand in hers

“Yeah.” I lied, letting my head rest against her shoulder. I didn’t know what to say because I’m actually use to lying about my feelings. I always hate telling the truth and then having someone feel sorry for me. Yeah, I get it, it sucks that I’m sick, but I’d love a little normality. Could they give it to me please?

“I’m sure she just wants to...” Mom stopped speaking then. She sighed and just tightened her grip on my hand while I fought the urge to fall asleep. I hated this. I hated it so much

“James?

We looked up when we saw Dr. Rivers standing in the entryway. She was an attractive brunette, about 5’4” with a surprisingly pleasant personality. No offense to the doctors out there, but I’d always imagined that most of them would be sort of....plain. Dr. Rivers was one of those people that tried really hard to make her patients feel more comfortable, even in a really bad situation

“Come with me.” She motioned for us to follow. I slowly stood up after my mom, following them down the hall to Dr. Rivers’ office. Once the door was shut, we sat in the two chairs across from her, anxiously awaiting what she had to say. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to find out.

“Look, no disrespect, but could you--” Mom was getting that panicky look again. The one she always got when we were about to get some bad news, or at least when she thought bad news was coming. 

“James hasn’t been improving like I’ve hoped he would and that is why I think that....” Dr. Rivers inhaled. “that he needs to receive inpatient care.

The world seemed to stop right then and there. So that was it? She thought my health was getting so bad that I need inpatient? I was exactly one month from starting senior year and I was still too sick to even consider a return to school. I’d been homeschooled ever since I was diagnosed, but I’d kept my hopes up that I might actually get to see the hallways of Grand Marais High School this time around.

Damn

“Doctor, w-why does h-he need--” Mom placed her hand on my shoulder, tears filling her eyes.

“His red blood cell count is still low, his energy level is still low, and there don’t seem to be any signs of remission coming anytime soon. Mrs. Diamond, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid this is the best thing for him right now. We can work with him more closely and hopefully give him a better chance at being in remission