Fading // m.e

twenty nine.

Like a lot of authors here on Wattpad, I listen to music while writing and I guess I just want to put up a few songs that might carry up the feels level when you listen and read ahah :D

'Flaws' (acoustic) - Bastille

'Please Don't Go' - Luke Hemmings cover

Comment below any other songs you think suit the chapter!

. . .

NASH’S POV

Everything seemed in place. Dr said she was coming along steady, and it was surprising that she was diagnosed with acute leukemia since Analise seemed quite stable at the moment – except for the occasional passing out or two.

I shouldn’t joke around like that.

But I couldn’t help it; my head was messed up - Cameron found out. That I know or sure… unless Analise had told him otherwise. But I doubt it, I mean how hard could it be to figure out if one of us was sick when he followed us to a cancer clinic.

“I’ll be right back Analise, I’m just getting some air. Alright?” I informed her while the Dr was still scrolling through her documents on the computer screen.

She simply nodded, keeping her fingers intertwined with each other in her lap while her thumbs tapped nervously against the back of her ahnd.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked, gulping anxiously – I didn’t want to leave her in here if she’s going to have trouble taking in results. Who am I kidding? I need to stay with her. That’s what a real guardian would do, not go tell off their best friend and leave their baby sister scared shitless in the middle of an appoitnment.

“J-just don’t get mad at him – please.” She whispered, seeming to want to keep her attention at Dr Claret’s every scroll of the mouse, change of expression and word mumbled.

“No-”

“Then don’t talk to him at all.” She instructed as her shaky, cold fingers wrapped themselves around my wrist before I could get away.

“I’ll be back.” I replied, sighing as I shook my wrist of her grip and pushed through the door out intot he waiting area.

CAMERON’S POV

I couldn’t lose either of them – he was my best friend; my brother in so many ways. And she… she was definitely something. Something that I knew I needed, and I refuse to let go this easily.

 I sat down, leaning my head against the cold brick wall behind me as I sat quietly, tracing the intricate pattern of the frame on this creaky, old wooden bench, trying to find something to pull me away from my worryful thoughts, but nothing could.

‘Don’t think that, stop it Cam.’ I muttered under my breath – probably so I couldn’t hear it myself. I ran my hand through my messy hair out of frustration at my newfound insanity, tugging at the ends, continuing my little chant – ‘Don’t think bad things Cam. Stop.’

“Cameron.” His voice piped up out of nowhere.

Shocked, I released my hands out of my hair, and looked up to him as he stood there in the doorway holding the heavy door in front of him.

“I’m sorry, I-I know I should’nt even be he-.” I began to explain, scratching my forehead out of pure frustration.

“No we need to talk, sit.” He instructed, walking past me with a solemn expression and seating himself where I was just a second before.

“No I just- I just feel like I need to get away from this for a second and thi-”

“No! I don’t think you do understand – my little sister is in there and she is sick and fragile. Do you think she can just get away from this even for a second just because she needs time to think?” He fought back, the anger burning in his eyes.

“Do you?!” He spat before we were interrupted by an older blonde woman who stood by the door in a blouse and workpants and papers gathered in her hand.

“Mr Grier, can I please see you inside?” She asked, with an upset Analise standing right behind her, eyeing out the last of Nash and I’s conversation,  sadness clear on her face.

“Yes. Sure, D-Dr Claret. Right behind you.” He followed as he brushed past Analise, avoiding her gaze at all costs.

ANALISE’S POV

“I knew he’d do this.” I laughed to myself as I sat down on the icy grey cement by the bench.

“What’d he say to you?” I asked, as I sat down on the bench.

“Come sit up here, it’s cold down there.” He suggested, looking down at me with his warm eyes, taking the cold feeling aaway immediately with one look.

“I like it – I don’t know why but it snaps me out of ‘medical-land’ and back into the other half of my life.” I muttered, finding my face slowly developing a small smile, despite the situation.

“Analise are you... are you…. Never mind.” He sighed, looking at me sympathetically. Actaully no, more like pityful – this is why I didn’t need any one finding out.

Now I’m not Ana, I’m just this fragile sick doll that can’t do anything and needs everyone to tippy toe around her.

“I’m sick, yeah. You can say it don’t worry – I won’t snap at you like my brother.” I joked, trying to get him to crack a smile. I don’t know what Nash had said to him but I didn’t want him to have to feel bad for anything; he’s a good guy.

“Acute myeloid leukemia to be precise.” I sighed as he just sat there in silence, the same look on his face.

“You never told anyone?” He asked, soundiing almost as heartbroken as Nash had sounded when he found out.

“Uh- I tried to just keep it in, you know like a personal thing…” I replied politely, but I knew he saw there was so much more she wanted to say – I just didn’t know how to let it out – Geez, I was becoming Matthew.

“Sometimes keeping it in isn’t the be-”

“Cameron, I know what’s good for me and what’s no-” I began to complain, but stopped when he caught me off guard, moving his hand and reaching underneath my chin, pulling my face up slowly to meet his.

“Ana, I’m telling you as a friend. I want you to know I’m here for you – I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. Okay?” He smiled, gently caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.

I stood up, not able to make of this – I just wanted to run off and isolate myself; I was already causing pain to one of my friends. He just didn’t realise it yet.

But, instead my legs acted before I could force myself to stop, and I found myself sitting right next to Cam, taking his hand in mine as I rested my head against his shoulder.

. . .

Aww <3 I hope you guys liked the update! Comment below who you like better with Ana - Even though it's a Matt fanfiction ahaha ...

I know it's a late update too, I'm sorry - I procrastinated a lot and even watched Jack Johnson on YouNow. WHO ELSE WATCHED IT?!

Next update at 800 reads, 50 votes, 40 comments :) 

xx m-s-l