Fading // m.e

fifty four.

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song of the chapter:

'sweater weather' [cover] - lil shawny poo

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ANALISE'S POV

We wandered through the streets, our arms linked together so my head rested against his firm shoulder, the light cotton material rubbing against my cheek with every slow step we took towards the light.

The street, was surprisingly ridden of the smooth mounds of snow and instead replaced with a dry path and nothing but the warm feeling of sunlight trickling down on us; a comfortable kind of heat despite the harsh New York Winter weather.

"I need you." He smiled down at me, every feature lit as he smiled, the lines deepening by his mouth and his eyes crinkling ever so slightly.

"You know you can stay. Here with me; it can be like this every day.. If you stay." He whispered the words into my ear, his lips brushing against my ear and blowing away the fallen wisps of hair away with his warm breath with each word spoken.

"Don't go." He turned as I pulled away from him, our tangled mess now just the two of us - two of us standing alone and distanced - before I caught a last glimpse of him; their features flickering from Cameron to Matthew before the faces begun to switch completely and the trickling light began to pour, drowning me in a flash of white.

I scrambled up, sitting upright too abruptly for my half awoken body, that the pounding feeling in my head increased.

"Hey." A hushed voice spoke, slightly croaky as if he'd just woken up too.

I watched as his features did not switch back and forth as I pressed a hand to his cheek, feeling the warmth beneath his smooth skin.

"Thank god, it's just you." I mumbled to myself, pulling the hair away from my face as the tight thumping feeling in my chest had slowed and loosened; my breathing however, not easing up.

"Just me?" Matthew chuckled, the same light crinkles engraved by his eyes as he smiled, the smooth lines forming. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I flashed a smile before replying, running a hand through his outgrown blonde mess before replying. "I'm just glad it's you." He leaned forward, his light scent somewhat comforting as he pecked at my lips, while I smiled absent mindedly, completely dazed in thought as muted words came tumbling out of his mouth.

I was glad it was him. I really was. But in that moment, between dream and reality as I begun to wake up; in the midst of that I felt like my heart could both drop and beat out of my chest, a smile both form on my Winter-chapped lips yet remain pursed, I felt my fingers tingle despite the rigid feeling all throughout my body. I swore in a flash, between being enveloped in light, I saw Cameron and Matthew - faces flickering as if still in a dream - except here. In reality, with me as I lay down on Matthew's lap.

And for some reason, I couldn't decipher who my heart picked up for, and who made that smile play on my lips and who I felt so happy to be with, in that moment.

"I'm just glad to have you here." I spoke surprisingly smoothly, as I ignored the tightening in my chest as if my torso were being squeezed and compacted to a pulp, and the wheezing hidden behind each staggered breath.