Fading // m.e

forty six.

Song of the chapter:

'Skinny Love' - Ed Sheeran cover

. . .

CARTER'S POV

I've been sitting here in my room listening to him sob about her. Listening to every hidden word that he kept away from everyone else's ears. I've been here the whole time for him as we sat in our hotel room, talking to each other from across the room; Matt sprawled out, a pillow lying on too of his face as I sighed, stretching out my legs that were propped cross legged on my bed.

I'd rather be in hospital. Or better yet a mental institution because this was driving me insane. This excruciating pain came, bursting out and tearing me apart each and every time he spoke about her.

The way Analise was just so perfect; her smile, her wavy hair that she never bothered to style, her fragile fingers that tingled every time he took her in his icy touch, the way she was 'Lise' to him and nobody else.

The way she could break him so hard and all he could think about was how perfect she was.

The thought of her being something to him; something so toxic in his life, and to stand by helpless. He wouldn't listen to me anyways. I'd seen his look before - this only ever happened once before with Vic. This sickening feeling washed over; I could tell that Ana was worse.

Vic broke him.

Analise would destroy him. Smash every little fragment of the mess until he was nothing.

"Only she can make me-"

I brought my hands up to my face, sliding it over in aggravation before slamming them down by my sides, the balled fists leaving a slight indent on the mattress as it slowly spring back up.

"Matt, just stop for a sec." I blurted out, watching as he sat upright and stared at me, hurt clear in his eyes even though I hadn't gotten my point across just yet.

Something about this whole scenario just sent me spinning.

Did I hate her? No.

But I hated what she was doing. I hated what she had become.

I hated the feeling within me that stirred and made me sick when I saw them together; when I saw Matthew like that in general. He was my best friend, and lately... I don't know. All these emotions were being sent my way and he doesn't even realise what it's doing to me.

What he's doing to me.

"I don't think that this is right." I mumbled, as I fiddled with my phone in my lap, trying to stay calm - in my head, these little thoughts never ended up calm.

"Huh?" He asked, wiping his puffy eyes, not making this any easier for me.

"Analise. She's not good for you." I stated, chewing lightly on the inside of my cheek as I watched him stand up, clearly pissed.

"What? How?!"

"Look at you man, this isn't you. She's messing with your head."

"How? Give me three reasons and maybe I'll believe you." He spat, looking at me completely cut.

"Reason one; this. You think everything's going great but in the end you fall back to square one. Someone like her is not worth this! The tears, the pain! Alright? What don't you get."

"Is that a-"

"I'm not done yet. Number two; she's tearing this group apart. She's breaking friendships. We used to be best friends - brothers, even. Right now you're neither!" I exclaimed, watching as he raked a hand through his hair and threw his head back.