Fading // m.e

forty.

Song for the chapter:

‘To Build a Home’  - The Cinematic Orchestra

. . .

ANALISE’S POV

“You slept in – we’re at the show; be back around 4pm. Love, Nash.” I read outloud, smiling as the ‘Love, Nash’ ended up scrawly scribbles of all the other guys names in a lopsided list that squeezed multiple letters that were all basically unreadable blue blobs of ink.

Everyone’s meaningless blobs of ink except for Matt.

A strange feeling built up in my throat as the realisation hit me – maybe this really was the end. Maybe he really hit breaking point.

I picked up the note, and scrunched it up into a ball, tossin git carelessly onto my bed as I shut the door, and instead made my way over to the bathroom beside my room. Shuffling inside, I pressed the door shut firmly behind me, and let my self sink completely; leaning against my back against the solid, and freezing wooden door until I barely felt myself finally reach the icy, tiled flooring.

That was pretty much how I felt with Matthew.

Everything was good, but then something happens and it all turns to shit – I find my self falling, and falling until I crash hard. But I don’t feel anything - just the numbness; all the pain and guilt built up into a giant avalanched that crashed down all at once.

I pushed back the tousled, wavy strands that continued to fall in front of my eyes as I let out a sigh. I shook my head as I reminisced on how childish  must’ve been before this trip – to think that a getaway like this would magically whisk me away from my problems. My fears. From my life.

To think that maybe if I got away and forgot about what my life was, my life wouldn’t be that way.

All I’ve done is make things worse. That’s for sure.

All I could think about was Matthew. I saw the hurt in his eyes.

I saw the tears building up at the brim.

I saw him watching me closely with every word as we fought over that one phone call.

I saw how he felt, yet here I was not learning anything from it.

I went out on dates that were, enjoyable, but it just wasn’t right. It was great and all, but it was too perfect.

I mean, Cameron literally was perfect, while Matthew was Matthew.

He was quirky and unique and funny all at once. He didn’t need to be perfect, to be my kind of perfection.

I just didn’t think that someone like Cameron; flawless, perfect, gathered, he had it all.

I didn’t think that, that kind of a guy was for me. It just didn’t seem to fit.

All that worked out in my head, no matter how many times I thought it over was him. It was Matthew.

. . .

Walking into my room, I fished through the hotel drawers, finally finding the several sheets of paper for ‘suggestions and queries’ left by the hotel; the logo printed abnoxiously large at the top centre as the phone number was printed across the bottom.

Removing the complmentary jade green pen, I clicked the top, and plopped over onto the desk, staring at the page with content tapping the end of the pen repeatedly as I racked my brain how to start this out.

Suddenly, a thought popped into my head. It was risky, sure, but it was worth a shot.

Adjusting the pen to my grip, I pressed shakily onto the paper, writing the two words in messy cursive.

‘Dearest Matthew.’

CAMERON’S POV

I walked out of the hall, basically running through the horde of girls that just finsihed up with the meet and greet.

“Cameron, calm down.” Hayes chuckled from behind me, tossing me the half empty water bottle that I had left behind.

“Wh-”

“Where are you heade-” Taylor asked, making me freee in my tracks as all the boys eyes met mine. If I told them, I knew Matt would snap – not that it wasn’t a bad thing, but also ebcause I knew he’d find a way to get back at me for going out with Analise. And plus, I didn’t need them trailing behind me on this date.

“I’m just g-”

“That’s you’re lying voice – we’d like the truth please.” Taylor smikred as he realised my voice was quavering as I spoke.

“Fine.” I mumbled, rolling my eyes as they nudged each other in excitement. “I’m just heading out to this Winter beach fair I found out about.” I rushed in a single breath.

“Who with?” Nash asked, seeming to read my mind as he gave me the ‘big brother look’; his eyebrows raised, looking at me with condescending eyes.

“You’re sister…” I whispered, earning coos of laughter and shouts.

Looking over to Matthew, he was the only one who seemed a little too disappointed about my little announcement, and so he should be.

Analise was going to be mine, and that was a fact. I watched as he slumped further, cleanching his jaw tightly as each response tumbled loudy from the boys of our group.

“OOH!”

“You owe me $5 Jack!”

“No! You owe me-”

“This wouldn’t be a date by any chance?” Hayes asked, as I nodded softly, keeping my gaze low. I knew exactly where this was heading – I knew Nash wouldn’t let me have two dates  of alone time with his sister. We may have been best friends, but he was very protective of Ana.

“Then I guess we’re all heading out on a date.” He smirked, confirming my suspicions.

They couldn’t of chosen better timing. I didn’t do this often, but I didn’t need the boys at this date today.

Today, I was going to ask Analise to be mine.

I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend.

. . .

OMG 40TH CHAPTER ALREADY! I GOT A SURPISE FOR YOU ALL - IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! CAN'T WAIT AHH!

xx m-s-l