Fading // m.e

fifty five.

ANALISE'S POV

And within seconds, the harsh 'thwack' of skin on skin contact stung through my palm, immediately reddening as with his left cheek, now stamped with the print of my trembling hand.

My gaze steadied in shock, I couldn't help but feel somewhat disgustingly flattered and confused. In return, his eyes open wide and a hand pressed up to his face - behind that temporary shock, a content expression playing on his features. The corner of his mouth upturned ever so slightly in a subtle smirk, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. Not one bit did he look remorseful.

Technically nothing happened - but he wanted it to. I looked in awe, my head turning gradually as I faced all ten faces staring back at me. Only ten.

She ran in a blonde blur, hair flying wildly behind her as she gripped at the sleeves of her sweater, out of the door in a flash, her whimpers not as silent as she would've thought.

"Annie.. Annie!" I sighed, scrambling back against my hands, gripping tightly onto the wooden leg of the table not so far away as it held me up momentarily before the familiar feeling of a sickly head-spin quickly formed inside. "Annie, please hang on a second!" I staggered out the door, my heart pulsing, my breath rapid and everything within me throbbing, relief washing over me once the steel doors slid open from a ten second trip down stairs that felt like an eternity.

Hiding my hands in the sleeve of my long sleeve shirt, I grasped for any warmth possible within me as I rushed through the revolving door,a slash of cold air whipping straight at me, leaving me to wonder how many times this had happened before. No matter who it was; why it happened; where or when it happened - I found myself out and vulnerable either being chased or chasing someone because I messed up.

Not far down the street I spotted her oversized black sweater, her legs trembling in her fitted track pants as she stood in only a pair of canvas sneakers in the snow; pressed up against the brick wall, her hair covering her face, I saw the way she stood slumped and her chest staggering and heaving. She was crying.

I walked by carefully as to not scare her away, indenting a light footprint in the white snow that seemed to dull in the faint hint of moonlight left behind the clouds.

"Annie.." I whispered, her head whipping towards me; golden hair now dull and frizzed, under a sprinkled layer of snow, cheeks pink and tear stained, grey eyes red and watery, but still looking at me as if we could still be friends. She flashed a soft grin, eyes now flickering to the mound of snow beneath our feet, as if she didn't really mind it all that much.

"I know I never really got to know you, or anything like that - but I prom-" I stammered, rushing through as she only smiled back, warmly and comforting, brushing a blonde strand behind her pierced ear. "Don't be sorry." She hushed me, pressing a firm hand on my shoulder, her lips shaking slightly in the brisk air.

"I don't get why you can still smile, or h-how you can talk to me as if you hate me right no-" I continued to ramble on, the words pouring out of me. What was I supposed to say to this poor girl that I barely knew? That there was nothing between me and Cameron? That deep down, that surging feeling of happiness didn't rush through for a millisecond when he leaned in? That I don't find myself thinking of him from time to time?

I couldn't say any of those things to her without lying. She didn't deserve to be pulled into this shit; the white lies flying around her while she sat absent mindedly in this nightmare dressed like a daydream - the picture of a group of friends hanging out and the perfect guy in front of her, irrevocably returning the love now blurred. It was anything but a masterpiece.

(( yes i quoted t swizzle. yes i don't like her that much - okok but it fit in perfectly shhhshhh don't judge me ))

"As much as I would've wanted him to like me back, it was just too much to ask from him right now." She took a deep breath, regaining herself from her chattering teeth, and smiled, her cheeks now a rosy warm pink.