Fading // m.e

thirty eight.

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Song for the chapter:

'We Found Love' - Ed Sheeran cover

. . . 

MATTHEW’S POV

You found her yet? – Matt

I looked over that text for what seemed like the hundredth time, waiting for an update from Carter of where they might be; but for some reason he had read it about ten minutes ago, and there was still no reply.

With a sigh, I switched my phone off and slid it into my back pocket as I gave the street one last glance. What was it worth fighting for someone, when they’ve already fallen?

My I eyes drifted as I turned around, ready to make my way back to the hotel when I realised I hadn’t looked as close as I had thought – there they were, barely visible through the bustle of the crowd. But I knew it was them; sitting at a table behind a clear glass window, revealing the fancy interior.

‘Come on Matthew – do you want her?’ I scolded myself as I realised I began to shake nervously - the churning in my stomach not making this situtation one bit easier.

‘I need you.’ Was the only thought that ran through my head as I shakily adjusted the ribbon on the bouquet I had bought from a street side stall on the way here – not that I had any idea what to do with it, or how it would win it over, but in a way it reminded me of her;  the delicate light pinks, slashed with a variety of light and dark purples and pinks -  both soft and bold, like Lise.

She was outgoing yet shy.

She was imperfect, yet perfect in every single way possible.

And hopefully that would all become mine.

I watched intently as they stood up and he took his hand in hers - the hopes that maybe, just maybe, she had any amount of feelings for me was soon fading.

Maybe I shouldn’t be here. Maybe things went along as they were meant to.

I saw the smile on her face grow as he had her tightly embraced in both arms as they danced in the area around them.

Okay, now I was completely unsure of what I was to do. I felt helpless - my palms were sweating, my knees were shaking, and I felt sick as hell.

 I didn’t need to be the guy who was turned down in the middle of the street, and the girl he looked all over town for didn’t even realise he had come chasing after her.

But when I thought things couldn’t get any worse – it did. It felt as if everything that just happened was incomparable to how I felt now.

Smiling down at her, Cameron pressed their foreheads together as he began to lean in, her back facing me – leaving me to only see him tilt his head downwards and smile as he made his way to her lips.

‘No.’ Seemed all that I coud manage as I watched him finish up their little kiss, enveloping her hand in his as they made their way out.

And that’s when things got even worse.

I stood there frozen, ready to puke as she looked up from Cameron, and glance down the street – her smile disappearing when she gave a second look and realised it was me standing there pathetically in a muddle of flower petals.