heartbreak girl | s.m.

16 | tired

chapter playlist⏯
• best friend - rex orange county
• give me something- calum scott
• say - john mayer

—————
about a week later
gemma clark <<<

"I'm getting married in less than two months, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

Edith is pregnant, and she keeps getting more and more pregnant as the days go by. She called me because "Brad was away and she really really wanted mint chocolate chip ice cream." So, being the saint that I am, I got her the stupid ice cream, got cookie dough ice cream for myself, and went over to her and Brad's place.

I sighed, taking another bite of my ice cream. "I know, E. Maybe you should have just never gotten pregnant and we would have avoided this mess," I told her.

She gave me a look. "You think I wanted this life? I'm getting fatter, and lazier, and hungrier as the days go by. It sucks, dude," she told me. She leaned her head back on the cushion. "And these fucking headaches!" she groaned.

I chuckled. "Shouldn't have forgotten to take the fucking pill."

She shoved her face in a pillow. "I know! I'm an idiot, and it's my fault. But, what can I do about it now? Nothing."

"Good point," I said. "At least I learned from your mistakes. I'm never going to let myself forget. Ever ever."

This got her to smile a little bit. "I'm glad someone will benefit. At least it's me instead of you," she said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked through a laugh.

She gave me a look. "You'd have Jake for eighteen years, Gem. You could never escape," she said, laughing.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, be quiet. He's not all that bad."

She gave me a doubtful look. "Your outlook of him changes every day, I swear to God."

"It does not! He's my boyfriend, for crying out loud," I replied. "Besides, you're the one who basically set me up with him. It's your fault."

"It's not my fault at all," she replied, putting another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. "But hey, if you really love him and really want to be with him, then I'm happy. I just sometimes feel like you're...hiding behind him."

I looked at her. "What does that even mean?"

"You know. He's Jake Dempsey, and you're Gemma Clark, and you're in love. That's how it's always been and that's how it's always going to be," she said.

I gave her a confused look. "Yeah, still not really following."

She sighed. "You're too afraid to move on from him because you don't want things to change. Things have been the same for two years, and change scares you. If you, say, broke up with him, a part of your security blanket would be gone, and things would be different. Things would change. And you don't like that."

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say that she was kind of right, but she was kind of right. A lot right, actually.

"I don't want to break up with him. I really think..." I stopped talking, trying to put it into words. "I think we're in a good place, and I think we're doing better. I'm happy, you know?"

She smiled and nodded. "I know. Yeah, that's good. As long as you're happy, and okay."

"I am happy and okay."

We didn't speak for a moment or two.

"Okay, but what about Shawn?" she asked, a bit of a smirk playing on her lips.