heartbreak girl | s.m.

48 | temporary bliss

chapter playlist ⏯
• close as strangers - 5sos
• hard sometimes - ruel
• slow dancing in a burning room - john mayer

———
SIX MONTHS LATER
gemma clark <<<

"You are absolutely impossible sometimes, Shawn."

"Me? I'm the impossible one? You've got to be kidding."

"How am I supposed to read your mind? You don't tell me how you feel and then get pissed when I don't know how you feel. We're four thousand miles apart. What am I supposed to do here?"

"It's not about how I feel; it's about you not getting it."

"Getting what?"

"My situation right now. You just don't seem to understand—"

I cut him off. "Okay, this is ridiculous. I'm hanging up."

"Gemma Clark, if you hang up on me, I swear to God."

I rolled my eyes. "Right. What exactly are you going to do?"

"Stop acting like a child, Gemma. I hate that."

"Why are you even with me then? I call you too much and I act like a child and I'm just a bother and everything would be so much easier if you didn't have me to deal with. Wouldn't it?"

"Stop, Gemma. This is exactly what I'm talking about," he replied. He sounded tired. I felt bad for arguing, but then again, he started it. I just wanted to scream.

But I sighed. We were both quiet for a moment or two. I tried to calm down.

"I'm just going to hang up. You don't want to talk to me, and that's okay. You're tired. Let's just let it go for tonight," I said, extending the olive branch. I'm not really the one who typically extends the olive branch, because I get really caught up in arguing and don't like to "lose." He usually tries to make the peace first. Not before betting some good jabs in, though.

"I do want to talk to you. Jesus Christ," he said. I knew he didn't, though. He's tired and he just doesn't want to deal with me. That's fine. I get it. I just wish he would say that instead of being all huffy and snarky when I try to talk. I wish he would just say "I'm not really in the mood to talk right now, I had a long day" instead of making me guess and then getting mad at me for guessing wrong.

It's been a rocky couple months.

"I'll text you in the morning," I simply replied.

"Yeah. Okay."

"Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight," he said. "I...I love you."

The hesitation worries me, but at least he said it.

"I love you, too," I said.

And then the call was over, and I felt like shit. I'm a sucky girlfriend. Big shocker.

My phone buzzed with a message.

sloane
hey!! we're going to bev's. please come with??

me
who's "we"

sloane
me ryan and jesse

me
right now? it's 10pm

sloane
so?

me
i'll be there

sloane
yes!!!

Sloane, Ryan, and Jesse are my only friends in New York City, besides Isaac, and he barely even counts. If you can recall, Jesse was the guy who asked me for my number during my first trip to New York, and Sloane was the girl who chased me down on the sidewalk to ask why I rejected him, and Ryan was Sloane's boyfriend. I ran into Sloane on my first day of classes at NYU and it was like destiny. We've been hanging out ever since then, and I've become friends with Ryan and Jesse because of her.