heartbreak girl | s.m.

57 | november

chapter playlist ⏯
• orchid - jeremy zucker
• missing you - the vamps
• haunted - the band camino

---
november
gemma <<<

"Here you are, beautiful."

I smiled and took the plate that Jesse was offering to me. "Thank you, Jess."

I didn't think Jesse could get any sweeter, but since we started dating, he has proven me wrong. Exhibit A: when he spends the night, he usually gets up early to make us breakfast, and then he brings it to me in bed. Is that not the sweetest thing you've ever heard? I don't know why anyone would want to treat me the way he does, but he does, and I'm very grateful for it.

I called Jesse that morning in LA, at my secret spot. I called him and said that I wanted to be with him. And that I loved him. Something just came over me when I was thinking about what my life used to be like when I went to that spot with Shawn. I just realized that I've been such a fool for sulking about him for so long when there's an incredible guy who is really into me standing right in front of me, just waiting for a chance. Why am I trying to sabotage myself out of love? Just because it's not Shawn? That's stupid, and I know it's stupid, and I'm not wasting any time anymore. I do love Jesse, and I do want to be with him. And he definitely
deserves a chance.

He didn't call me back at all after I left him that message; he waited until I got home, and then he came to my door at nine p.m., soaking wet with a bouquet of flowers. It was very, very sweet.

flashback, about a month ago

I heard a knock on my door. It had to be Jesse. I've been waiting all day for him to call me back, but I haven't gotten so much as a text, besides the one from first thing in the morning when he wished me happy birthday. It makes me nervous. What if he decided that I'm too late?

I walked to the door while running my fingers through my hair. I wish I had tried a little more today, appearance-wise.

I opened the door, and standing there was my sweet Jesse, soaking wet. He was holding a bouquet of flowers that looked surprisingly dry.

"Hi, Jess," I said, smiling. "What's up?"

"I love you. That's what's up," he replied, grinning, and I had to laugh. "And you're not too late. I want to be with you so badly, now more than ever."

My heart felt full. I made the right decision. "Well, good. I guess we love each other, then."

"I guess we do," he said, still grinning. "I've been waiting for this for so long, Gem. You don't even know."

I smiled, feeling the guilt sink in. "I'm sorry it took so long. I was just...apprehensive. I don't want to let you down."

"I don't even care if you do," he said. "It'd be worth it."

I shook my head. "You're crazy, Jess. You came all the way over here in the pouring rain?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal. I had to see you."

That's sweet. "I appreciate it. Come in, please. I'll get you something dry to wear."

I retrieved a t-shirt that is super big on me and sweatpants that are also way too big on me. There are benefits to wearing oversized clothes all the time.

"Thanks," he said.

"You should probably just stay with me tonight. I couldn't have you going back out in that rain. Especially when it's so late," I told him, a smile on my lips. I just want him to stay.