chapter playlist ⏯
• half of my heart - john mayer
• harveston lake - johnny rain
• held by me - the vamps—————
gemma clark <<<"Don't give me that look, E."
Edith rolled her eyes and smoothed out her dress. The two of us were walking the streets of L.A., as usual, enjoying the aesthetic as we sipped smoothies and discussed life. It was a bit chilly, but wrapped in one of Jake's hoodies, I felt fine.
"I'm just concerned," she said. "I don't want you to get stuck in one of those "who should I choose" situations, ya know?" She brushed her hair behind her ear, but the wind blew it in front of her face again. "Like your own little Sophie's Choice."
I smiled, then shook my head. "That's not going to happen. Shawn's just a friend. I like talking to him, and hanging out. But Jake is different. He's a lot more than that," I said.
"We have our moments, I know that. But he's trying to be better, and he's doing really well. I'm willing to work on this with him, and I'm not going to throw it all away on some other guy, who I don't even like like that, just because things got a little hard. Believe me, Shawn's not even in the equation," I told her. I was being honest. Jake is the only guy on my mind, the only one I want like that. Shawn's cool, but he's a friend. I don't feel that way about him.
"Yeah, I figured," she said. "He's pretty cute though, isn't he?" She smiled, and I laughed.
"Yeah, I guess," I said with a shrug. "He's out of my league anyways."
Edith gave me a look. "Yeah right."
I ignored the comment, because I knew I was right. He deserved someone great, a thousand times better than me. I already know the type of girl he'll end up with. I can see it. She's the girl everyone loves; the girl that you want to hate because she's so perfect but you can't hate her because she's so nice. I can see them laughing together in the corner of the room, not caring about anyone else because they're just that in love. I can see them walking the streets together, hands intertwined, sharing a pair of headphones and smiling at each other when their song just happens to come on. I can see it vividly. It's inevitable. A guy like that.
"What if you catch feelings, though?" Edith asked, snapping me out of my thoughts, and before I could say anything, she gasped. "Even worse. What if he does?"
"How is that worse?"
"Because you'd have to break his heart. Oh my God, that would be the worst," she said, shaking her head.
"Believe me, I don't think you have to worry about it. I don't think he'd ever be interested in me, anyways."
"Well why not?"
I took a sip of my drink and shoved my free hand in my pocket, keeping my fingers from the cold. It was sunny, but the buildings lining the streets blocked the sunlight from hitting me.
"Are you kidding? You should have seen this girl he was with. She was like, gorgeous. Next level gorgeous. She's a ten, and I'm maybe a six on a good day," I told her, and she rolled her eyes.
"First of all, you're completely delusional, because you're hot as fuck," Edith said, making me laugh. "And sometimes appearance isn't everything, Gemma," Edith said, which reminded me of my conversation with Shawn the other day. Such bullshit.
"Yeah, whatever. I'm just saying, you don't have to worry about anyone "catching feelings," E. I think we'll be just fine."
"I hope you're right," she said, sipping her drink. "Don't lead him on, Gem."

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heartbreak girl | s.m.
Fanfiction"i could pull the stars down from the sky and give them to you, and you would still find a reason to say no, wouldn't you, gemma? you would still fucking go choose him." i felt like the world was crashing down on me. the one person i was completely...