"i could pull the stars down from the sky and give them to you, and you would still find a reason to say no, wouldn't you, gemma? you would still fucking go choose him."
i felt like the world was crashing down on me. the one person i was completely...
chapter playlist ⏯ • always leaving - mayday parade • i'll take my chances - the click five • when it don't come easy - sleeping at last
——— gemmaclark
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gemmaclark even with a view like this, the grind never stops. shoutout to college.
——— three months later (small time skip, but let's not overreact) gemma clark <<<
"You just need to remember to do what's right for you, Gemma. Do what's going to make you happy in the long run. Do the thing you don't want to regret not doing. I know you're the kind of person to think about how your decisions affect everyone else, but I don't want you to think like that this time. Don't let your happiness get lost in the shuffle, Gemma. Your future."
My mind was going a million miles an hour. Isaac Benton's stuffy office didn't help the ill feeling in my stomach as I looked down at the paper he had put in front of me. A paper with a proposition.
My book was set to be published in two weeks, and this is my third trip to New York since Christmas. I've missed work and school and my boyfriend, but it's just what I've got to do. I thought that was hard enough. But this is way harder.
"You certainly don't have to make a decision today," Isaac said, probably sensing how anxious and stressed this had already made me feel. "There's lots of time left. However, I don't want you to dismiss it just yet. NYU is a phenomenal school with a phenomenal writing program, and a full scholarship isn't something they just give to anyone. This opportunity is incredible for you, Gemma."
I didn't respond. I was trying to wrap my brain around it all.
"But, I get it if it's too much change. It is a lot; I know," he continued. "Like I said, it comes down to what you want."
I nodded to show that I was listening. I just don't know what the hell I want, that's the issue.
"I'll consider it," I replied, trying to appear calm and collected. "Definitely."
He nodded and gave me a small smile. "Glad to hear it," he said, standing up from his desk. I stood as well. I want to get out of here so badly. "That's all I've got for you. We'll be in touch, as always."
"Sounds good. And thank you, for this," I said, referencing the NYU papers I had picked up. "And everything else."
He smiled a little. "It's no problem. You deserve it. Have a safe trip home."
"Thanks," I said, smiling as well. "I'll see you later."
"Bye, Gemma."
I left the building, finding myself in the middle of a New York City sidewalk without a clue. As I walked, I just thought. There's so much to think about. Do I really deserve it? Am I really good enough for a full scholarship to a school with one of the best writing programs in the country? They wouldn't offer it to me if they didn't think I deserved it, right?
