heartbreak girl | s.m.

29 | nonetheless

chapter playlist ⏯
• hold back the river - james bay
• the night we met - lord huron
• hold my girl - george ezra

———
maybe a week or two later
gemma clark <<<

"Play something good," I said with a sleepy smile. I was in my bed, the sheets all the way up to my chin, and he was sitting on my bed, playing my guitar as he often did. He held the pick between his teeth as he attempted to tune the dang thing to perfection (which I've already done). He thinks he knows best.

He took the pick between his fingers, giving it a strum on an A chord. "Like what?" he asked, not looking up.

"Mmm, something I like," I said, and his eyes met mine for a moment, then looked back down, as if they held the answer.

After a moment, he started playing. Hold Back The River by James Bay. A song I adored.

I watched his fingers on the strings, realizing I could do this all day. Just watch him be all talented. I'm fine with that.

My eyes were heavy; they always were in this sort of situation. A guy can't just start playing James Bay on the guitar while his girlfriend is lying in bed at eight o'clock at night, because she's going to fall asleep, which isn't fair to anyone. But still, the song was so pretty. I kept my eyes open and watched.

"Don't fall asleep on me," he said with a smile, setting the guitar to the side. I sat up a little bit more.

"I'm trying, but I think I'm going to cave soon," I said tiredly. "I got up at seven o'clock for dumb work. Seven! In the morning!"

He laughed a little. "Your ambition is so inspiring."

"Thank you. It is," I said, sinking back down in my bed. "This is just who I am. If you can't take it, then you're dating the wrong girl."

He rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his lips. "I know who I'm dating. I'm the one who has to deal with you."

I closed my eyes, as if that would end the conversation.

"You can't just close your eyes and ignore me. That's not how this works," he said. I stifled my laughter and didn't respond.

"Fine. I guess I'll just go home then, if I'm not appreciated here," he announced. "I'm sure someone will appreciate me somewhere else."

I opened my eyes quickly. Even though he was only kidding, that thought made my stomach hurt. I took his hand and tried to pull him closer. He resisted.

"Now she wants me," he said with a smile.

"She's always wanted you," I replied, tugging on his arm.

He stopped resisting, letting me pull him closer. He laughed a little as we were centimeters apart, our eyes meeting each others. Being so close to him made my heart race.

"When are you going to quit that stupid job, anyway?" he asked, breaking the tension. I fell back against my pillow, a little discouraged, and he laid next to me. He kept his eyes on me.

"I don't know," I replied. "It's a job. It's not supposed to be fun. It's supposed to get me money, and this does that."

He gave me a look. "But you hate it. You complain about it everyday."

I took a moment to respond. "I don't really have another option. What else do I have to fall back on? I don't have my degree yet, or any experience in anything. I don't really want to do anything else."