heartbreak girl | s.m.

62 | the one you've been waiting for

chapter playlist ⏯
• my thoughts on you - the band camino
• strangers - jonas brothers
• exile - taylor swift & bon iver

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a few weeks later
APRIL
gemma <<<

"Oh my God. Kill me now, please."

Jesse practically fell onto the couch. I kissed his cheek.

"Why do you say that?"

"I. Can't. Do. Any. More. Bio. Chemistry."

I chuckled. "Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you sort of made the choice to do biochemistry for the rest of your life, babe."

He put his face in his hands. "I know! What a dumb thing to do."

"What's wrong? You love it, usually," I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"This research just never ends. I still have a whole month left of doing this project. It's draining me," he said. "And I can't stand Kyle. He's such a fucking know-it-all for someone who fucking sucks at biochemistry."

I laughed. It's funny to see Jesse all worked up, because he usually is very good at not getting worked up. I suppose even he has a breaking point.

"Well, are you hungry? I made dinner," I said.

"You...you made dinner?" he asked, looking around.

I nodded. "Your favorite."

"Tacos?" he asked, his voice small, like he couldn't believe anyone would do something so nice for him.

I nodded. "The meat's on the stove and everything else is on the counter."

And then he kissed me on my lips, both hands on my cheeks.

"I want to marry you, Gemma Clark," he told me, making me smile.

"I'm finally becoming the housewife you always wanted," I joked. He rolled his eyes.

He got up to eat, and I stayed on the couch watching Forensic Files, feeling proud for making him so happy. I know he's had a rough few weeks with all this biochemistry, and it only seems to be getting harder on him. I just want to be the one thing that he doesn't feel stressed about. I want to put his mind and his heart at ease.

Things between us have been really good. I think I'm hitting my stride in this relationship, actually. I was in a bad place last month, but I've turned a corner, big time. With the end of the school year looming, I've realized that real life is starting, and it's starting soon. I need to keep up and get myself ready to face it.

I've pushed all that Shawn crap to the back of my mind. I thought I was relapsing back into a phase of being obsessed with him, but I snapped out of it. Edith told me he and Paige are doing really well, anyway. I'm honestly, truly, very happy for them. Just like I hope he's happy for me.

I'm writing again. Working on another novel. I'm keeping it to myself for the time being, but I'm excited. Once school is out, I'm going to have a lot more free time, and I'm going to need to start writing more. Working with Isaac is good, but I'm a writer. I need to write.

I'm going to LA next week to see Edith and and Brad and Gabby. Not that it matters, but Edith has assured me that Shawn will be in Vegas with Paige. I would just feel uncomfortable running into him.

"Oh my God," Jesse said with a mouthful of food. "We're getting married, you and me."

I laughed. "Jess, chill. They're just tacos. I don't think you should vow your life to me because of them."