conversations // prinxiety ✔

♥ 10 - stay ♥

I blinked a couple of times before completely waking up.

Where am I?

My arms and thighs were bandaged and I was laying in someone's bed.

So I was still alive.

Across the room, Roman was pacing and mumbling panicked phrases to himself while reading papers over and over again. Then I realized I was in his room.

It was so bright. And huge. And neat. And the bed looked so cool.

The bed was made nicely and managed to stay that way even though I was in it and there was gold lining on all the edges of the white painted wood.

"I'm still alive," I muttered, looking down at my arms. My hoodie's sleeves were rolled up.

Roman must've heard me because he jumped and his eyes widened when he saw me sitting up.

"Anxiety!"

"What's up?"

"What do you mean 'what's up'? You could've died! You've been unconscious for two days straight!"

"I mean, it wouldn't be that bad, would it?"

He sat down on the edge of his bed beside me. "Look, Anxiety. I know you think I hate you, and for a while, I did. But I stopped hating you a few months ago, but I just pretended because I thought that doing that would make me stronger. I made a mistake, not you. I remember when you pushed me out of your room when Patton told me to apologize to you and I just want to say sorry now and I really, truly mean i-"

"Patton," I sobbed.

Roman realized his mistake and looked like his heart had just shattered into a million pieces. "I never knew how hard things were for you, and I was too arrogant to give you a chance, and this is what I've caused. I am so sorry. Do you want me not to talk about him?"

"You can like, talk about him I guess, but d-don't- don't say his name. P-Please."

"...that's okay. I won't. But I, uh... I read the note you left behind for all of us. And the book. I never knew. I'm sorry you had to go through so much and I couldn't even be a hero like I always say I am."

"That's okay, I guess... but- but why?"

"Why what?"

"Why? Why did you think I wouldn't be hurt by him breaking up with me?"

"I mean, because you have tons of other friends who you could go to, right?"

I hesitated before shaking my head sadly. "He was my only friend. And now he only thinks of me as a 'good acquaintance' like I didn't mean shit to him in the first place."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"I read the conversations. I read the most recent one. You... you like me."

His gaze dropped to the floor.

"And that's why you did what you did. Because you were selfish and made sure I had my heart broken so you could come with your knight powers to save me and we'd live happily ever after, huh? Instead of just simply being nice to me and giving yourself a way into being with me, you taunted me and made my boyfriend dump me."

He gulped. "I understand now. I shouldn't have done it. You were happy and what I did landed you in this situation and I feel like a moron."

"I accept your apology... But I don't forgive you." I flipped myself over so my face was buried in his silky, soft pillow so that my next sentence was muffled. "He was the only good thing that has happened to me."

"Should I leave you alone?" His voice was nothing like it was normally. Instead of it being booming, proud, and kind of obnoxious, it was soft and... caring. I use that word a lot. I really like it.

I sighed. "I would normally say no, but I don't think I can take it if I'm alone," I said, letting the truth come out.

"I mean, you're usually alone, and you basically hate me, so-"

"Please stay. I know I don't like you and I know you don't forgive yourself but you... you remind me of him. In a weird way."

Roman nodded.

"Do you want your bed back?" I asked, noticing him putting a pillow on the floor.

"No, you need it more than I do."

"I can go to my room."

"I don't want to risk- to risk... I don't want to lose you again." Each word was quieter than the last, but I understood.

"Okay."

"I'll sleep on the floor. This was my fault anyway." I could tell he was about to cry. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"You keep saying that."

"Because I want you to know I mean it."

"Well- I understand now. Thanks."

"I get it if you don't forgive me."

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I'm not sure what to future has planned for me now that I know you aren't going to let me escape from it."

He suddenly grabbed my arms protectively and rubbed the bandages. "I know you hate me but I'm never letting you leave again. Never." Tears streamed down his face and he quickly wiped them away. "Good night, Anxiety. Stay safe."

I nodded and buried myself in his huge, fluffy blanket.

"Please," he added meekly.