conversations // prinxiety ✔

♥ 17 - voices ♥

*virgil's pov*

I woke up in my bed next to Roman. I looked down and we still had clothes on, so the readers know now that we didn't go that far. He was still snoring softly and I smiled at his bed head.

Suddenly, they came.

The voices.

He's using you.

He was the one who split up you and Patton.

He only wants to hurt you.

He doesn't love you.

He could never love you.

Patton was the only one who could ever love you.

How could you possibly think you could be with someone like Roman?

I didn't notice when he woke up and frowned at the sight of me crying silently.

"What's wrong?" he asked, brushing my bangs to the side.

"It's nothing. Nightmare."

"Virgil, your eyes were open."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing if it's making you cry. What's wrong?"

"Y-You'll be upset with me."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"Just tell me, Virgil. I won't get mad. I want to help you."

He's pretending to like you out of pity.

"Do you actually like me?" I blurted out.

The question took him aback. "Of course! How could you possibly think I don't?"

I didn't say anything but I started crying again. "P-P-Patton..."

Roman looked at me sadly. "You still like Patton, don't you? That's okay. I'll give you time. I get that you don't want to be with me and you could've told m-"

"No! I fucking love you Roman! It's just- it's just... When Patton broke up with me, I was d-driven to s-suicide. But he didn't want to break up with me, so if you purposefully break up with me, that'll make me worse!"

"I wouldn't break up with you! You're everything I've ever wanted, Virgil! Please understand that you are the one good thing that's-"

"The one good thing?! Yeah, yeah. I believe you. You're the creativity side! Everyone loves you! Everyone gives at least a sliver of a shit about you!"

"It's not always easy!"

"Oh yeah? And what's not so easy about it?!"

"Being underappreciated! Constantly having my ideas being thrown away by everyone around me! Thinking I'm stronger than I really am! Having to be positive all the time! I have to try for this job, Virgil!"

"And you don't think I have to work, huh?'

"No! You make Thomas worry about everything! How much work does it take?!"

Virgil grabbed Roman's collar and forced him against the wall. "You listen here, you little shit. No matter how much you pretend, you've always, always had it easier. So much fucking easier! Do you think I want to be Anxiety? Hell no!"

Roman opened his mouth to say something but then shut it closed.

"Do you know how it feels reading a book with every single time anybody's talked shit about you?! I bet that if you had one, almost every single page would be praise for you! Do you know how it feels having one person in the entire world love you but then getting him taken away?! No! Because that one person was Patton and you took him away! You only want me so you can hurt me and I won't be giving my heart to anyone this time!

"You're the creative one! So tell me, can you imagine being constantly hated? I don't want to hurt Thomas, I want to protect him! Everyone's supposed to balance each other out! That's why I'm here to keep you from opening that giant mouth of yours! Patton and Logan keep each other balanced, and we do too! I try so hard every day to do what I'm supposed to! Do you think I want to hurt him?! NO! Why the fuck are you such an idiot?

"If I'm the only good thing that's ever happened to you, what's your fucking definition of good? You don't have to know that everybody hates you, do you? You've never had someone you loved with all your heart break it, have you?

"You get everything you want. You take away my happiness and let me cry on your shoulder and make me fall in love with you and kiss you and do everything with you. You get everything you want.

"I hate saying this, but I'm in love with you. I'm so goddamn helplessly in love with you! But I get that you don't love me and that's fine! But don't go and use me again!"

"Virgil! Of course I love you!" Roman argued.

"Then why aren't they telling me that?"

"...they? Who's they?"

Virgil's throat was dry. He released his grip on Roman and guilt flashed in his eyes. "They. The- the voices."

(a/n: suffer :))))) )