conversations // prinxiety ✔

♥ 11 - i remember ♥

I still longed for Patton's touch but I could tell he was growing feelings for Logan. Clueless Logan had no idea what to do about it.

That was fine. I want him to be happy.

But it felt wrong being around him. Actually, I had been avoiding him ever since I... did the thing.

Roman went to pour me a glass of water so that I wouldn't have to see Patton, which I appreciated.

When he came back, he handed me the water and told me, "Pa- He wants to talk to you."

I sunk down further into his bed. "Why?"

"I'm not sure. He just said he wanted to talk to you when I went downstairs."

"Okay... Now?"

"Whenever you want to."

I cracked a tiny smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. It's the least I could do to make up for everything."

♥

A couple hours had passed and Roman had just given me a plate with a sandwich and a bag of chips.

We ate in his room together.

"You know," I said, breaking the silence and making him look up, "I think I'm ready to talk to him."

"Okay, I'll call him over here." He got up and went to find Patton.

I was alone again. It was strange that I was enjoying his company in the first place.

Roman and Patton walked in just a minute later.

"Hi," Patton said, waving.

I waved back. I already felt like crying.

"I'll leave you two alone," Roman said when he noticed how tense I was. He left and closed the door behind him.

"Pa-"

"I didn't know. I didn't know that I was given a potion until I read the book that you left behind when you- when you... y'know. A-And I forgot about all those feelings I had for you! I forgot about our relationship but after reading what happened, I remembered everything! And it must've been so hard for you, and I want to feel that way for you again but I can't. I just can't! I so want to, Virgil. I feel horrible." His eyes were glossy and he looked like he was about to have a breakdown.

And then I actually started crying. "D-Don't feel horrible, it wasn't your fault. I love you... so, so much but the potion is permanent and I can't do anything about it, and you can't do anything about it, so- so don't feel bad."

He hugged me tight and everything seemed to fall back in place, but I knew nothing had gone back to normal.

I hugged back immediately. "I miss being your boyfriend," I muttered through tears.

"Me too," he replied softly.

I buried my face into the crook of his neck and we stayed in that position for a few more minutes.

He made it clear he wanted to be friends and he made it clear that he cared, but I couldn't stop the voices in my head.

Virgil, what's wrong with you?

Your feelings made him feel guilty.

This is your fault.

You made the person you love feel horrible.

You're just the bad guy.