Sorry

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::Bria's P.O.V::

"This wasn't where you were supposed to end up, Bria" my brother murmured as he stroked my hair lightly, I was curled up in a ball on my bed. My fingers held onto my thin blanket as I closed my eyes, I was shaking slightly, due to the fact that I had been crying for most of the day. 

Come on, Bria. Smile.

Hearing Jacob in my head made me cringe as I rolled over and sighed. I missed him so much, and even though he was in my head, it wasn't the same because I wanted him in person. 

Smile for me, Bria.

I couldn't say anything to him, or Rayan. I couldn't say anything to anyone. 

"Do you want Jordan or Jazmyne to come over?" Ray asked lightly. I shook my head a little. 

I just wanted to be alone. 

It's been over a month since Jacob left me alone on this world.

I'm sorry I left you. 

I rubbed at my temple and mentally told him to shush. 

Sorry.

It's been over a month since Jacob left me alone on this world, and it's been over a month since I began to feel like I couldn't live without him. He really was my everything and now that he's gone, I don't know what to do with myself. 

"Bria, I don't know what you want me to do for you, I want to help you so bad but.... But you're not telling me anything" Ray said as he rubbed my back. 

If you're not going to speak to me, at least speak to Ray. He's just trying to help.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I hadn't gone mute or anything, it's just.... It's been a while since I've spoken aloud to anyone. I could speak whenever I wanted to, I was just afraid of what I would say and how it would all come out. 

"What if I gave you some paper and a pen?" Ray asked, I turned over and opened my eyes. I looked at him and he gave me a hopeful look. I shrugged a little. 

"Okay, I'll take that as a yes" he said as he got up and found a notebook and pen. He walked back over to me and handed the items to me. I sat up some and took them in my hands. 

What do you want me to write? I wrote slowly. My hand was shaking slightly and I dropped the pen. 

"What can I do to help you?" 

I picked the pen back up and steadied my hand before writing.

Nothing.

I wish I was able to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright.

My tears suddenly appeared as I thought about what he said. I wanted him here too. I wiped at my eyes as the warm salty tears cascaded down my cheeks. 

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to make you cry.

Bria, I'm really sorry.

This is all my fault. 

I should just go. 

You don't need me making you cry.

I rubbed my temples and shook my head a little. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. 

I shouldn't be here making you cry, Bria. 

I'm only making things worse.

Please, please, please. Do not leave me for a second time, Jacob. 

I need you.

I looked up when he didn't answer me, this only made me cry harder because I was sure he was gone for good. He left me behind again. I'm never going to hear him again. I'm such a selfish bitch that I drove him away yet again. My body shook as I sat there and just cried, I suddenly felt a pair of arms pull me into a hug. At first, I thought it was Jacob, but it was Ray. 

I've completely lost all hope. I can't do this anymore.

I need to join Jacob. 

No, no, no.

I sniffed, he didn't leave?

I didn't leave, I'm sorry. I should've said something. I was thinking. 

I'm still new to this whole thing. 

I smiled a little and wiped at my eyes. 

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I still love you.

I gave a slight nod and took a deep breath.

I still love you too.

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First chapter is up! Hopefully it wasn't confusing? Ya'know, when she was talking to Jacob or when she was explaining what she was doing. Hopefully you liked it, maybe?

Love,

Me

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