Dysfunctional (Sequel to Soft Whispers)

Jealous?

I can't believe you said "okay".

I'm sorry.

Why would you say "okay"?

I don't know.

I feel betrayed.

I'm sorry. 

I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID "OKAY".

No need to raise your voice.

Ugh, sorry.

I'm just....

Ugh.

Bria. You don't understand how confused I am with you right now.

How could you even?

Why would you even?

I don't even know what to think right now, or what to say.

Then don't think or say anything. You're making my head hurt anyway.

I'm sorry.

Just...

Dammit.

I hate him.

I hate him.

I hate him.

Don't say you hate him just because I agreed to go on a date with him.

I'm not saying I hate him because of that, even though I do. I'm saying it because he's the one who bullied me when I was alive, and he watched when Parker, Jaden, and Michael beat me up in the locker room. I don't trust him, and I can't trust him, and I won't trust him because I hate him.

Jacob.

"Did you say you'd go on a date with August?" Ray asked as he barged into my room. 

I nodded a little. 

He stared at me.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked as he walked up to me, he placed the back of his hand on my forehead. "Are you sick?" 

I pushed his hand away and frowned. 

I shook my head. 

"Are you sure?" He asked slowly as he cupped my face in his hands. 

I rolled my eyes and pushed his hands away again. 

I grabbed my whiteboard: I'm not fucking sick.

"I'm just making sure". 

I looked at him. 

Is there a reason as to why you came in here?

"I wanted to see if you really said that you'd go on a date with August". 

Why don't you call him Chresanto? Why do you call him by his last name?

"It's a football thing". 

You don't even play football anymore".

"I know, but it just stuck".

Uh. Okay.

"Yeah, so why'd you say you'd go on a date with him?"

Because he asked.

"That doesn't mean you had to say yes".

I didn't say yes. I said okay.

"Well whatever you said, you didn't have to say it". 

I'm getting the feeling you don't want me to go on a date with him?

"No, I just thought...." He trailed off, "I didn't think you'd go on a date anytime soon.... Because... Because of, y'know, Jacob".

I looked down and took in a deep breath. 

"I mean, it's okay that you are. August and I are cool now, I guess. I'm not saying that you shouldn't go on a date with him".

I looked at him before cleaning off my board. 

I didn't have anything to say to him, I just wanted the black words to disappear. 

Sometimes I wish I could just disappear. 
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Sorry for any mistakes.
Love,
Me.