Dysfunctional (Sequel to Soft Whispers)

Anger

"Are you going to school today?" Ray asked as he poked his head into my room, "because I'm not going if you aren't".

I looked at him and nodded a little. 

I'm going.

"Okay" he said before leaving.

I stood up and walked to my closet, I pulled out some black skinny jeans and a sleeveless shirt that said 'More Issues Than Vogue'. Of course, I wasn't going to let my cuts show, I was going to wear Jacob's sweatjacket today. 

I walked to the bathroom and closed the door. I turned on the shower and took off my pajamas. 

It's gonna sting in the shower.

It always does.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You're not mad at me, are you? 

You know, for what I did?

No, of course not. 

I'm just sad that I couldn't stop you. 

I didn't want you to hurt yourself, because once you start; it's hard to stop. 

I know from personal experiences.

I'm sorry. 

It's the medicine. 

I don't think I should be on it anymore. 

Neither do I.

I have to keep taking it though, my parents don't know about what I did last night. 

They can't know. 

Why not?

I don't know. 

I just.... I'll feel better if they didn't.

I think you should tell them.

I didn't tell my mom until I lost so much blood that I could barely speak.

If I had told her sooner, I probably wouldn't be dead.

>>*<<

"Hey" Chresanto greeted as he walked up to my brother and I.

I waived a little.

"'Sup? You okay from yesterday?" He asked to Ray, "you left out of here so fast, I couldn't ask what was wrong".

"Yeah, I'm okay".

Chresanto looked at me and held his arms out for a hug.

"I missed you yesterday" he said as I walked into his hug.

"Wait, Chres, do-" Ray began. 

He hugged me and the sudden surge of pain made me wince horribly. I yanked myself away from him and held my sides as tears appeared in my eyes.

Fuck.

Oh my God.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry? I... I don't know what I did wrong?" Chresanto said in pure confusion.

"You alright?" Ray murmured as he carefully pulled me closer to him.

I wiped at my eyes and nodded a little.

I let my fingers run along the material of Jacob's jacket as I turned and looked at Chresanto.

He looked so confused.

I slowly walked back up to him.

I couldn't tell him why I pulled away like that. I just couldn't.

I stood right in front of him now, I looked up a little. He was just a bit taller than my 5'3 frame.

I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He kissed back and I closed my eyes.

I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. Not now.

I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek and he placed a gentle arm around my waist.

The bell rang.

I pulled away and the amount of worry and confusion that I saw in his eyes pained me, it really did.

I fixed my bag so it rested comfortably on my shoulder, and I walked away.

>>*<<

"So I'm not going to get an explanation for earlier?" Chresanto asked curiously. 

I shook my head a little. 

Not yet, no.

I knew that I'd tell him eventually, just not right now. 

"Okay". 

I liked the fact that he didn't pester me into telling him. 

I smiled a little. 

"Off to lunch we go" he said as we walked down the hall together. 

When we got to the cafeteria we ran through the usual routine. 

We bought our food and found the table that we usually sit at and sat down and waited for Ray, Jordan, and Jazmyne.

"Well would you look at who it is, the slut".

Here we go. 

Again.

I turned my head and saw Shania, three other girls were with her. 

I didn't know any of them. 

"Can I actually talk to you for a minute, please?" Chresanto asked as he stood up. 

Shania looked at him, "me?" 

He nodded. 

"You actaully want to talk to me now? Do you know how long it's been since you've actually spoken to me?" 

Chresanto rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

"Blah, blah, blah. Bitch, can we just talk?" 

"Sure". 

I watched as the two left out of the cafeteria and I was left alone with three girls who I didn't know.

"She's gonna get him back" the blonde haired girl out of the three said seriously, "she always gets them back". 

"Yeah, he's gonna be wrapped around her finger again in no time".

"And he's going to leave you". 

Don't listen to them.

They're just trying to break you down so it'll be easier to hurt you.

"I'm completely with Shania, why would he even find interest in you?"

I don't even know which was talking to me now, I wasn't paying attention anymore. 

I was opening my water bottle. 

"Like, you're not cute, you could lose at least five pounds, and you don't even talk". 

I rolled my eyes. 

I suddenly felt a person twirl their finger around my ponytail. 

I swear if she pulls my hair, I'm gonna pour this water on her. 

"You're not worth it". 

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Sorry for any mistakes and sorry for posting a bit later than eight.

Love,

Me.